Shock



Always playing games

We are all in shock. It was so quick, so unexpected, so sudden, just too awful to think about. It was all over so fast. He was too young. His body was sick but we didn’t know it until too late, and neither perhaps did he.

Seeing ‘signs’ all over the place that I wouldn’t normally notice. Ads for Funeral directors, health checks, cancer council car, bye bye miss American pie on the radio – this will be the day that I die – way too soon to hear that.

Family rallying, travelling from all over
Talking over things, over thinking things
Memories flitting through my head
Crying, consoling, grieving, laughing, thinking, talking, remembering.

Trying to be strong. His wife, his children, his parents, his sister, my husband (his brother), my children, family, friends, colleagues, team mates and everyone else who knew him – all sad, all shocked feeling the loss already.

Being a mother is discovering strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you never knew existed – Sherene Simon

He lived an active life and he was liked by everyone,
not one for the limelight, a quiet ‘get on with it’ sort of guy.
He was fun, he was competitive, he was sporty, he was involved in many community groups. He was a caring, gentle, happy, thoughtful man and he was one of the nicest people I have ever known. More like a brother to me than a brother in law.

Writing helps, words and thoughts tumble and fight to be written.
Running helps, although my heart is in so much pain I don’t know how it manages to keep on beating at times.

Wishing it wasn’t so, remembering that it is.
Live each day as if it’s your last, because you just never know.

Rest in Peace Cliff (1958-2014)

Categories: blogging, family, Friday, general, life, running, Special, writingTags: , , , , ,

11 comments

  1. Debbie your ability with words to express thoughts and feeling we all have had at times like this is profound. Hugs to all of Grant’s family. Memories are so precious at a time like this and I hope they generate laughter and joy with the recalling. Hugs to you special friend.

    Like

  2. Deb, I am so sorry for your loss. Peace to your family during this difficult time.

    Like

  3. This is a raw portrayal of the many thoughts/feelings one goes through when losing a loved one so suddenly. thank you for sharing Deb. So sorry for your loss.

    Liked by 1 person

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