Remind me again why am I doing this?

Remind me again why I’m doing this?  Running I mean!

I haven’t written a post about just running since July last year but I have been running, on and off,  in the meantime.  The months after July were wet, miserable and cold.   I was also suffering from looking down the barrel of redundancy but I knew I had to keep active for my mental health.  I know I put on weight between May and December due to the work issues I was dealing with and I haven’t been able to shift any of it since. Looking back I wasn’t in a very good place.

Once I was retired in December 2016 I was able to put more effort and enthusiasm into my running and I have been building up again.  I have joined a few supportive Facebook groups, such as Running Mums Australia, the Couchpotatotofabfit community and an online group called Running Divas. I run on my own and have often said how much I’d like to be involved in a group and these are the closest I’ve come across to helping me feel in touch with others out there.

Since January I have been running 3 times a week with the days in between spent brisk walking or cycling. I think I am disciplined in my approach and ensure I get done what I have to. Yesterday I registered for two running events coming up in the next few months – the Mothers Day Classic in Canberra in May and Run Melbourne in July. I’ve enjoyed the quiet time running and walking, I’ve listened to music and felt OK about it all  – until today!

Today I had a training run to do of 5.6km – made up of 800 metres steady running then 400 metres slow (or walk).  I went out on my usual course in the forest, which is up and down on gravel roads, and I struggled big time.  At times I couldn’t even get through the 800 metre segments without slowing down to a walk. I finished my session and came home fuming on the inside at how bad I was at running, how slow I was and wondered again why I even try to do this.  I had a meltdown!  I sat down and wrote this post on the Running Divas Facebook page (obviously feeling very disheartened and sorry for myself):

This is hard to write….is there anyone out there who can’t run 5kms without needing to walk some of it, can only dream of getting sub 30 mins, doesn’t want to ever run a half marathon let alone a full one, who needs to lose a few kgs but can’t, who just needs some support to keep trying her hardest to stay running, gets lonely doing it on her own all the time??? Feeling a tad sorry for myself and embarrassed that I’ve admitted all this to you but I’m hoping there’s others like me out there.

Well since posting this comment I have been inundated with lovely strangers giving me friendly advice, picking me up, sending positive thoughts my way and admitting that they too have been where I am now.  I’m not alone with my feelings after all!

As a result I now feel better, more energised and ultimately more motivated.  I have a lot of work to do if I am to achieve my goals of running a sub 30 minute 5km.  But I’ll continue on.

I have also revisited my Running board on Pinterest which I use for interesting blogs and motivational quotes to keep me going. I found a few new ones today 🙂

Stop beating yourself up!  

You are a work in progress which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once!

So to answer my own question – why do I do this running thing?

• It’s good for me to have a goal
• I enjoy it.
• I can do it!
• I’m fit and healthy.
• It’s free.
• I’m lapping everyone who is sitting on the couch.
• I have good strong legs.
• I create positive energy when I run.
• I use the running time for thinking and clearing my head.
• It’s good for my mental health.
• It brings me joy!

What about you, are you a runner or can you understand what I’m saying?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Feel free to tell me  I’m a whinger, whiner and should pull up my socks as I’m lucky to have the ability to run, especially at my age!

Feeling much happier now I’ve got that off my chest 🙂  Next time I have a meltdown I will revisit this post.

Deb xx

PS. Did you know I have a page devoted to my Running, you can check iy out here: About my Running

I have linked up with Runningonhappy.com to share my post.