Life is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
I am probably cheating a bit here by not sharing one of my own photos for this week’s photo challenge, instead I am sharing an old photo of my beautiful parents in the bloom of their life.
Why?
I am reminded of the quote “Life is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep”.
When I saw the prompt for this week’s Photo Challenge asking us to share a photo that shows a sense of layers, I immediately thought of this quote.
I have just spent time with my mother who now lives alone as my father is in a care facility due to having debilitating Parkinson’s Disease. During my visits to him I took the opportunity to look around at the other residents and wondered to myself, what sort of old lady will I be in years to come?
Our lives are made up of many layers and they dictate who we are and who we become to some extent.
Will I be the querulous old lady who demands non-stop attention and who tests everyone’s patience; or will I be the sweet faced old lady who sits quietly and does what is expected of her; will I try to escape at every opportunity; or be the one who asks the staff if my booking is confirmed for another night at this resort; or will I not know who I am or where I am or who is visiting me??
My father was once this amazingly handsome, clever, funny and interesting man who is slowly fading away before my eyes.
The staff all think he’s wonderful (which he is of course), they all like him due to his easy compliant nature, his quirky sense of humour and his natural sparkling personality which manages to flash every now and again.
He doesn’t complain, he doesn’t cause many problems for them and he tries hard to stay involved with activities and people. My father was once this amazingly handsome, clever, funny and interesting man who is slowly fading away before my eyes.
He is still my father and we shared some great memories during my visit. I even joined him at the drumming session, which was loud, noisy and chaotic. It was fun and the happy faces around me showed me how much enjoyment these types of activities can bring.
It’s not the life either of my parents expected to have in their later years, but whoever knows what life will bring? My mother is having to learn how to be resilient, how to cope on her own, make decisions, be on top of everything, stay in touch with friends and family, take care of herself and she is doing a great job under the circumstances. My one piece of advice, if you can ever give your mother advice, is to learn how to pace herself.
Life is indeed like peeling the layers of an onion and can make you cry, but it can also make you smile and be thankful for the life we’ve had.
We just need to make the most of what we’ve been given and appreciate our life at every stage.
Mum and dad have always been great teachers and they are still showing me the way ahead. I just hope I can follow their great example.
Post update February 2018: I wrote this post in September 2017 and I’m sorry to have to tell you that my gorgeous father passed away on 25 January 2018, so this post is especially significant to me right now.
Deb xx
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This is a beautiful reflection and so insightful! I loved the image of you and your Dad playing the drums. I’d be loving the drums if I was in your Dad’s position but I’d probably sneak out and play them at the wrong time.
And Deb – I think there is no doubt that you will be a shining light that will charm your carers with stories from your amazing blogs.
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Thanks Julie! I’m sorry to say that dad passed away in January this year, so these memories are lovely to have. I have every respect for careers in these nursing homes and can’t thank them enough for their care of dad.
I can only imagine what stories I’ll tell when I get to that age 😊
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I’m sorry to hear that your Dad passed away earlier this year. It can be a difficult time but it is good to be able to look back on the memories.
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Oh my. You already had me crying before I got to your announcement. I am so sorry for your loss. As much as I am loving my midlife years, I was not prepared for the simultaneous parental decline and demise. xo
gwingal
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I know exactly what you mean about not being prepared for the decline and demise of our parents! I didn’t mean to upset you but I needed to write down my thoughts at the time. Thanks for your kind message. X
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I am so sorry you are feeling the pain of the loss of your dear father. He sounds like he was a lovely man enjoyed and cherished by family and friends. As we age and watch our parents age before our eyes, each passing day with them becomes that much more precious. Thanks for this post!
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Thanks for your lovely comment. I’m glad you enjoyed it and understand my pain. The funeral is tomorrow and it will be a big day for us all.
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I am so very sorry for the loss of your wonderful father. Your parents were beautiful, and it sounds like that never changed. This is a lovely tribute to both of them, and a reminder to the rest of us to appreciate those many layers of our life (and of our parents), even the ones that make us weep.
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Thanks Wendy we must all appreciate the many layers of life and the people in our lives. It is very hard time indeed.
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This is a beautiful post Deb. It’s so hard to watch our parents age.
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I’m glad you can relate to my post. I really appreciate your comment.
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Oh how your words drew my parents back to me in a most powerful and profound way. Your photos and words could have been my own so closely do I relate to your words. Great post, thank you for sharing your love and wisdom.
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Thanks Cheryl. I’m happy to hear you could relate to our story. I’m not sure I have much wisdom to share but I’m glad you enjoyed my writing.
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It’s strange to think about what we’ll be like when we’re elderly isn’t it Deb? My dad had big plans on how he was going to spend the inheritance my mum came into – but by the time it happened he had dementia and never got to participate in any of it. It’s made me aware of enjoying the life we have and being prepared for what lies ahead but not waiting for it to happen because we don’t know what lies in store for us. I’m glad your dad is doing well where he is – it makes it easier for everyone that way. Thanks for linking up to our #MLSTL party – I’ve shared this to my social media x
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Thanks Leanne. I’m sorry to hear of your dad’s inability to do all the things he wanted to do. It’s important to do what we can when we can as we never know what’s around the corner. I wrote this post last year and my dad sadly passed away last week. We’re together with family now planning his final send off so it’s been quite a hard time. Thanks for sharing and I’m so glad to be a part of this exclusive group of likeminded bloggers 😊
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Well you have me in tears Deb as I know your current situation. Thank you for selecting this beautiful article to share with us at #midlifesharethelove link up. I know you are hurting at the moment but your Dad would be so proud of you. Sending love and hugs. xx
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Thanks Sue, I wanted to share something meaningful and it sounds like I did that. I didn’t want to miss the very first linkup!! X
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What a lovely tribute to someone so special…I miss my dad every day and I can feel the onion burning my eyes, just thinking of him….
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Many thanks for your comment. My dad passed away last week so we’re in that foggy, unreal land at the moment. That onion has a lot to answer for!!
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My sincere condolences ans prayers to you.
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Thank you for sharing this. It hit very close to home. I’ve recently moved in with my 77-year-old mom after my dad passed away. I’ve had a lot of those kinds of thoughts, too, lately. Started blogging about my experience of being roommates with Mom; helps me to verbalize what I’m feeling. Thanks again! I enjoy your writing.
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Thanks Melanie, I wish you well with your new living arrangements, it’s a hard time of life in many ways. What you’re doing is very caring and supportive. Take care of yourself too. Sadly my dad passed away last week and were with family now ready for his funeral.
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What a beautiful, moving post, and a gorgeous picture of your parents.
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Thank you, they certainly were a gorgeous couple. They still are but in different places now.
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Beautiful post! We all have so many different layers. Your parents are amazing people. 🙂
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What an honest and heartfelt relay of the experience you are going through right now. I lost my father 21 years ago quite suddenly. Four years ago my grandfather who took his place by my side took a turn for the worse. I’ll never forget my grandmother driving me to the facility at which he was recovering from a series of operations, “His life is just ebbing away.” It gave me goosebumps, and to be honest she was so run down by the quick pacing that her spirit had begun to fade in her pupils. Advice for your mom as well, take care of yourself. ❤ You are one lucky girl to have such amazing parents!
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This is so beautiful and poignant. You really struck a chord with me, and it seems your other readers too!
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Oh, I have a lump in my throat. The picture of your parents is adorable, as is the one of baby you with your dad. As I get older myself, I still can’t get my head around it all, my aging parents and then to make sure my own children will be OK when I’m not here too. It makes me feel so melancholy 😦
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I know what you mean zen, it’s sometimes so hard seeing them as they were compared to now and knowing it will happen to us too one day. I didn’t mean to be melancholy I wanted to get my thoughts down! Thanks again for reading and enjoy every moment. 😊
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Beautiful tribute to your parents. Thanks for sharing. It’s true. We need to make the most out of whatever life is throwing at us.
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That’s so very true! Thanks for reading and leaving me a comment.
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Beautiful post Debbie
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Many thanks for reading Lucy.
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