An ancient old tree on the Frome River in the Flinders Ranges
Posted on by Debbie

That time when the bride wore white and so did the groom!

Weathering life

As the Mathematician and I celebrate our 38th wedding anniversary, I thought back to how we’ve weathered life along the way.

We both started out in our brilliant white outfits and haven’t looked back.

I had been considering writing a post to offer advice to newly marrieds, my daughter among them, but I decided I don’t have any real advice to give except maybe:

  • to be patient
  • to accept each other
  • to have fun together
  • weather the storms together
  • to be realistic and honest
  • to be there for each other through the good and bad times

I was only 19 and one month old (to the day) when we married, which means I’ve now been married for twice as long as I was single – a scary thought!  We’d known each other for a few years before getting married too, so it’s safe to say we’ve been together for well over 40 years all together.  I think we’ve done well 🙂  I know 19 is young to commit to someone but it’s worked for us and the Mathematician was a few yeas older than I was at the time.

Here we are on our wedding day – I always love the sky behind me being dark and stormy while behind my husband it’s clear! Is the weather trying to tell me something?

Wedding day in inclement weather
Our wedding day
Just married!
On my wedding day
family photo on our wedding day

I have written an anniversary post regularly over the past few years:

In 2014 it was You are the Flip to my Flop, in 2015 it was a simple post called Celebrating, in 2017 I made it a Throwback Thursday post – and the one thing that stands out clearly from these posts, is that marriage is a continual work in progress.

It’s not always fun, or easy or romantic – it’s often just the opposite, but it’s something we both work hard towards maintaining because that’s what love is all about. Don’t get me wrong, we have fun and adventures together but I’m not going to whitewash it to be something perfect and wonderful all the time.  We’ve gone through a lot together and have our families and our parents to thank for their support and for being great role models.  You just never know what the future holds when you marry so making the journey together and being there for each other is vitally important.

Our daughters say that we are living the dream at the moment – we’re both retired, young, fit, healthy, happy and adventurous and (luckily) financially sound enough to enjoy our lifestyle.  It’s the life choices we’ve made, decisions we’ve made together and ultimately ‘love’ that has enabled this to be ‘our’ time.

Trees weathering life

These trees in the Finders Ranges of South Australia on the other hand have weathered hundreds of years, seeing all that’s happened around them, providing life, shelter, shade and they have been an integral part of this special environment.

I love their gnarly root system, their entwined branches, their steadfast trunks, their ability to cope through good and bad times, their continual growth – I believe these same attributes can be applied to a marriage!

Magnificent old tree in the Flinders Ranges, South Australia
Y is it so? in the Flinders Ranges
An ancient old tree on the Frome River in the Flinders Ranges
Mighty River gums in the Frome River in South Australia's Flinders Ranges
River gum along the Frome River in South Australia's Flinders Ranges
River red gums along the riverbed
Walking in the dry riverbed of the Frome River in South Australia's Flinders Ranges
River Gums in the Frome River, Flinders Ranges, South Australia

These trees are still standing and so are we!!

Thanks to the Daily Post for this week’s photo challenge prompt of Weathered which allowed me to indulge myself with a post combining two loves of my life – my husband and trees 🙂

Are you game enough to offer any words of advice on the subject of marriage and how to make it a long and happy relationship?  If so, I’d love to hear your thoughts and so would everyone else I’m sure  🙂

Deb xx

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Everyone has a story to tell!

Debbie - mother of a 40 year old

Deb is a young-at-heart & active 60+ blogger/retiree, after being made redundant from her 22-year career managing education programs in a men’s correctional centre (jail). She now spends her time reading, blogging, riding her ebike and travelling. Deb was awarded a Bravery Award from the Queen when she was 17 after a tragic accident – a definite life changing moment! She is married with 3 grown-up daughters & has 4 grandchildren. You can read more of Deb’s story here

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43 Replies to “That time when the bride wore white and so did the groom!”

  1. Pingback: A Sentence a Day for January: A time to focus and a time to grieve – Deb's World

  3. A belated congratulations to you Deb on 38 years of marriage. That’s quite an achievement. It was 25 years for us last December. I loved reading this post and you combined your loves perfectly. All the best to you for another 38 years. Enjoy ❤️

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    1. Yes I was very young, and I’m still young now! yes it’s a bit of a lottery at times and I must say I got lucky 🙂 Congrats on your 30 years, I remember you saying so while you were on your trip 🙂 Lovely to hear from you!

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  8. What a beautiful post!!!! I love it! I also love those trees! (I am a rather unusual tree hugger). Anyway, my first marriage didn’t work out–but my ex-hubs and I remain friends. He and his girlfriend joined us for Christmas dinner and gave my husband and I a belated wedding gift. We both figure–we had three children together so how could we be enemies? Luckily, my husband has no problems with this and we all get along!!! Thank you for a lovely read!

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  9. Congratulations on your 38th (!!!) anniversary. That is an achievement to be proud of. And clearly you and your husband, like those beautiful, gnarly trees, have weathered a lot over the years and made it out with flying colours. Happy Anniversary weekend!

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    1. Thanks Marian, we are very proud of ourselves and that we continue to enjoy each other’s company now that we are both retired. I’m also glad you saw my connection with the trees in my post 🙂 Lovely to have you drop by.

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  10. First of all, Happy Anniversary! Relationships do take work and there needs to be a willingness on both sides to do the work. So glad you found a partner willing to dig deep. Love the pictures of the trees. I love taking pictures of trees, especially when the Ent’s personality shines through.

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    1. Thanks so much for your message Jennifer. We both dig deep at times 🙂 I love these old trees from our time in the Flinders Ranges and they have so much personality, I’m glad you can see it too.

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  11. Happy Anniversary! Hubby and I married when I was 19 and he was 23 – unheard of anymore. I agree with so much of your post. Ups and downs, ins and outs, goods and bads, but I wouldn’t do it any differently.

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    1. That’s the same age as us, (I think we’ve discussed this before???) and it is unheard of these days as you say Jodi. I’m glad my post resonates with you, it’s been interesting over the years and I wouldn’t do it any differently either 🙂 Take care and it’s always lovely to hear from you x

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  13. Pingback: Weathered – Sign – What's (in) the picture?

  14. As someone who has experienced two marriages – both of which have been very different – I have some advice for the newly married.
    1. If you didn’t marry someone you like, get out now.
    2. Be confident in yourself as your own person. Yes, you’re part of a couple, but you’re also a person in your own right.
    3. Think about what you bring to the marriage – what are you doing to sustain and nurture it?
    4. Be kind. Always.
    5. Don’t take advice from others. You aren’t like them – and if you are, refer to #4.

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  16. Congratulations on your anniversary. Hubster and I have weathered 13 years of married life. You’re so right. Most often it is sheer doggedness to the commitment we made. Sometimes actually can’t stand him 😎. But we love each other and we make a great team. Thanks for another fab post!

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        2. Not at all. I loved your other post too but was too shy to write much. 😀 Maybe next time! Wish you both many more years of togetherness, happiness and health. We survived 30 yrs of being married – fingers crossed for the coming years 😉

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  18. Hi, Debbie – This post is another great example of why I follow your blog. It’s the mixture of your positive nature and your straight-up honesty. Great photos too! Congratulations on your long and successful marriage.

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    1. Thanks so much Donna, I do like to tell it as it is, so I’m glad you appreciate that! about my blog! I really wanted to portray the feeling of weathering and being in it for the long haul, so I hope that came across OK. I really love hearing from you. If you have any advice to leave feel free to share your wisdom:)

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    1. Hi, I agree we seem too be in the minority these days! I really don’t know what advice to give but figured these were the basics. I’m not one to dish out advice generally but made an exception here 😊 thanks for the visit and taking the time to leave me a comment, it’s much appreciated.

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