View from the plane window
Posted on by Debbie

Time for another adventure and the guilt sets in

It’s getting real now –

we’re down to mere weeks until lift off!

Adventure awaits
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It must be getting close now as the Mathematician has freed the passports from their ‘very safe place’ to a more obvious ‘safe place’ (in plain sight, so we don’t forget them ) and the lists are starting to take over the house.

These lists include:

  • the list for the house sitter
  • the list of ‘to-do’ jobs before we leave
  • the list of people we need to send our itinerary to
  • the list of things we must take with us
  • the list of clothes required for a three month holiday
  • packing lists, toiletries, accessories, carryon…..
  • contact details of everyone we want to visit
  • the list of everything I have to do before I leave

and thinking about it all just makes me feel overwhelmed.

I know it will all work out in the end but at this stage with a few visitors and trips to do before we actually leave, I’m feeling a bit arghhhhh!!

Which is why I’m retreating to blogging when I should be making lists, cleaning the house and doing something useful 🙂  You know I like to procrastinate don’t you??

I’m also wracked with guilt –  before I could write the word wracked I had to google it to make sure I was spelling it correctly.  Apparently you can write it ‘racked’ or ‘wracked’ so I’m glad I know that – see more procrastination 🙂

Why am I wracked with guilt?

  1. I will miss my youngest daughter’s 30th birthday – there I’ve said it and she once wrote me this beautiful post!  I’m a horrible mother 😦  Mother and daughter, wedding. mother of the bride
  2. I will miss my mother’s 80th birthday – I’m also a horrible daughter 😦MOB with Grandmother of the bride
  3. I will miss seeing my first grandchild expand in my daughter’s tummy – now I’m a bad grandmother-to-be too 😦  Don’t despair I will be back for the last month and will be in the country when it’s born, thank goodness 🙂
  4. I will miss helping my daughter and son-in-law move into a new house (assuming they find one to buy in the next few months) – see I’m a bad mother 😦
  5. I feel guilty for not having been to see my daughter and her fiance in the UK in 4 years!!  We’ve seen them in the meantime but only because they have made the effort to come home to see us.  I’m a bad mother again 😦 but I’m on my way to see them in 3 weeks so I feel good about this 🙂
  6. I will not be able to blog as much or read as many blogs as I’d like to while I’m away, I know that already but I hope you’ll forgive me if I go missing in action for a while. I don’t want to feel like a bad blogger too!

I am trying to reconcile these feelings of guilt and I must admit to not doing terribly well!  Have you any advice for me?

Travel plans

Anyway we are busy making plans despite my feelings of guilt and not feeling terribly organised.  I’m busy pinning lots of posts about packing, locations we’re travelling to and things to see and do along the way. Not that useful the Mathematician would tell me, but it’s fun!

As well as seeing our daughter in England, we have plans to travel to Iceland, a cycling trip in Holland, friends to visit in Denmark, Sweden, Germany, Switzerland, Scotland just to name a few places!  It sounds fabulous doesn’t it?  I am starting to get excited especially as it’s our first huge overseas trip as retirees and best of all there’s no need to return to work afterwards.  We’re away for three months in total!

I’m feeling quite confident we’ll get to see most of the people we want to see and we’ll enjoy the time with our daughter, her fiance, Bruce the rabbit and Ozzy the black lab puppy who is already nearly bigger than me and he’s only 5 months old.  We can’t wait to see the new house they’ve bought and help out wherever we can. We’ll be in the same country as her for her birthday this year at least 🙂 except she’s going away to a wedding on her actual birthday.  I can’t believe it’s coming up to 5 years ago I visited her for her big 3-0.  It was my first big trip on my own, I travelled solo for 4 weeks with just a few adventures along the way! The Mathematician was missed but I proved to myself that I could do it and live to tell the tale.

Mature aged backpacker
Mature aged backpacker

On another note: Voting is still open!

A beautiful blogging friend Angela from You are Awesome has been sharing her thoughts about a few of her favourite bloggers who have been nominated in the Annual Blogger Bash Awards – and this is what she wrote about me – I just had to share it!

Deb’s World has joy in its blood. With gorgeous pictures, and some very powerful reflections on both love and loss Deb shares some valuable wisdom from a glorious life. Deb is up for anything, and isn’t afraid to try what seems impossible. She’s great and definitely a Hidden Gem! 

Angela’s blog has been nominated in the Most Inspirational Blog category and she is thoroughly deserving of this award. She is sweet, kind and writes beautiful inspiring posts while always sharing others’ work and leaving fabulously uplifting comments.  So many thanks to Angela for her kind words and for being so thoughtful and supportive.xx

Voting is now open in the Annual Bloggers Bash Awards

If you haven’t voted already then get voting! It’s so easy to do – click this link VOTING IS OPEN and select your choice in each category.  It really couldn’t be simpler. You can vote in every category but you can only vote once. It only takes a few seconds to vote.

If you feel like voting for Deb’s World in the Hidden Gem category, then feel free to do so and I’ll be eternally grateful. I’m up against some amazing bloggers but I’m just so pleased to have been nominated.  This is my first ever nomination and making it even more special is the fact that I’ll be attending the Bash in London with my daughter – all the way from Australia!

Voting closes at midnight on April 30th (BST) with the winners announced on May 19th at the Bash in London. Thanks to the hard working committee for all their organising and to whoever nominated me in the first place, I’m just so honoured to be up for an award!

Apparently over 6300 votes were received in the first three days of voting – that’s amazing!!

Congrats to everyone involved 🙂

See you soon London!

Deb xx

You can also find Deb’s World here – let’s stay in touch!

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74 Replies to “Time for another adventure and the guilt sets in”

  2. Mother/daughter/grandmother guilt never goes away. I think that’s our human nature Deb!!
    Congrats on this award Deb. Your inspiration and gratitude for life is what I admire about your blog and I am honoured to be running up against you and so many other wonderful bloggers in the category of Hidden Gem. Good luck to everyone. Xx

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    1. I’m so glad you know what I’m getting at Lorelle! I’ll be fine once we get away it’s just the lead up. I’m so proud to be nominated too and I really think we all deserve to win. I wish you all the best and I’ll be there’s to collect your award if it turns out that way ❤️

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  4. Oh gosh! I was reading your post and thinking how fantastic it is that you’re heading out for an amazing trip (even with all your guilt) and then I saw you’re so sweet mention. You deserve every word of praise. And I’m so glad my words resonated with you. You are a gem. And I hope every moment of your trip is glorious.

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  5. Three months of travel? I’m so jealous, my longest was three weeks…so far! I’m sure the one daughter is so thrilled that you’ll be visiting her and you’ve earned enough mommy and daughter points on the other side of the coin, that you don’t have to worry about missing birthdays. And I will miss you not blogging as much as you usually do. It’s then that you will truly be the HIDDEN gem!

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    1. You made my morning with your excellent advice Jennifer!! I’m sure I’ll still manage to get done blogging done, I don’t want to be too hidden or I may get forgotten 😂 thank you so much for being so understanding and telling me what I needed to hear!

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  7. Enjoy your trip, Debbie. Please travel with the confidence of knowing you are an outstanding daughter, mother, wife, friend and blogger. As for the latter, you’ve had two recent nominations to prove this! Good luck!

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  8. I missed my only (for now) niece’s first birthday. I felt pretty guilty about that one! But, we can’t always wait and consider what is always happening around us before we live. Don’t feel guilty-feel excited!

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    1. Great advice! I feel like that’s how I should be feeling now that I’ve got it all off my chest and admitted to my guilt. It’s good to just say it loud (or write it as the case may be) and move on. Thanks for helping me feel better about it.

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  9. Wow, three months – good for you! My guess is that both your daughter and your mother have told you not to give their birthdays a second thought, and to go have a great time. You can make a BIG deal out of their 31st and 81st birthdays next year. Definitely, don’t pack any guilt in your suitcase… it takes up way too much room and doesn’t go with any of your other outfits.

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    1. I love this comment! Thank you so much for the sensible advice. I laughed at the fact that guilt won’t go with any of my outfits 😂 I’m feeling better just by getting it off my chest and admitting to my guilt. You’re right they have all told me to just get on with it and enjoy myself. Which I will do 😊

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  11. Oh I’m really feeling excited for you Debbie and what a fabulous experience for you both – 3 months! Yes you can feel guilty but I’m sure your daughters and mother would all want you to have ‘your time’. So go there and enjoy! Don’t forget your tiara and gown for the ABBAs and good luck! I a teeny bit jealous of your 3 months stint but over the next two months I have my grandson’s 4th birthday, my husband’s 70th birthday and a new grandbaby to welcome in June so life will be busy. I will miss you that is for sure xx

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    1. Thanks Sue, I’m determined to enjoy myself and not let the guilt get to me. You have a busy time coming up, it sounds so exciting. Don’t worry I’ll still be around. I’ve got the tiara packed ready to accept your award for you 🙂

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  13. I’m sure your daughter and your mum, and your grandchild to be, will all be happier knowing you’re clocking up more wonderful experiences to share with them, than having you sitting around waiting for calendar dates. Enjoy your trip. I’ll look forward to living it vacariously with you.

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    1. Great to hear Chris!! I had a little meltdown moment there but that’s how life is sometimes isn’t it?? I’ll pop over and check out your blog today too. Thanks for your good sensible advice. 😊 I’ll be posting whenever I can while I’m away.

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  16. I’m very envious Deb. I’ve travelled internationally a few times but never been to Iceland. Since reading Burial Rites, Iceland is on my bucket list. If you haven’t read it you must. Don’t feel guilty, I’m sure you have spoilt your family over the years. Now it’s your turn. Enjoy. I’ve voted for you and shared #MSTL

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  18. Ohh, I so get you. There’s always something to feel guilty about as a mother/daughter/wife you name it. It’s in the female DNA I reckon! Have a wonderful trip! Once you’re on it, you won’t feel quite so quilty 🙂

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  19. I voted for you! Also you’ll have a fabulous time and my piece of advice is that guilt is part of a woman’s character. If we’re not feeling guilty about something then I’m suspicious! So let the guilt come – apologize lots (because we’re good at that too) and then let it roll over you and get on with enjoying your time away. PS I read “our daughter, her fiance, Bruce the rabbit” and laughed because I saw her and Bruce living happily ever after 😀

    Thanks for linking up with us at #MLSTL and I’ve shared this on my SM xx

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    1. Oh you get me so well Leanne!! This is all so true and exactly what I was trying to get at in my post.
      Oh dear!! I’ll have to watch my writing – you made me laugh then about Bruce the rabbit 😂 thanks so much Leanne, I love this #mlstl group, everyone understands what we’re all going through. Xx

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    1. I’m afraid for me anyway, the guilt is continuous unless I stop it in its tracks. Yes the travel will be fab once we get going. Thanks for your comment and I’m sorry there’s no better news. 😊

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  22. As a woman, why is it so ridiculously hard to let go of our mother/daughter/grandmother feelings of failure or guilt? I say that because I understand completely; I would be going through the same emotions. Men don’t seem to lay guilt trips on themselves like we do as women! Your practical side is telling you that you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about and you don’t! Go and have a blast! Your family is happy for you. Have a wonderful time!

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  23. Your trip sounds wonderful and I know the guilt is real. I have guilt for this weekend because I am missing my great grandsons’ 8th birthday. I can let it consume if I let but guilt needs stopped in its tracks. Have fun and enjoy every minute of your trip. I voted for your blog last week, good luck.

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  24. I have that many lists for a 2 week trip…I cannot imagine a 3 month trip! So very exciting for you! Enjoy this amazing time. Everyone who loves you (mother, daughter, etc.) would want you to – I am positive!

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  25. What a wonderful trip. Feel the guilt and do it anyway and don’t let the guilt rob you of all the joy. It is so easy to feel that you could do more but you know what they say about filling your own well – just think how much more you will have to give and share when you return home energised and happy. Enjoy, and don’t forget those passports!

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  26. Have a wonderful time – guilt-free! I’m sure you know your family members would feel guilty if you didn’t go on this fabulous trip to stay home with them! So much to look forward to. Enjoy! And keep us posted on your adventures.

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  29. You’re right Deb … you’re so bad!

    [To others who might read this comment and think I’m being mean … I’m not. Well, not really. As Deb’s younger sister, I can tell you that Debbie has always been ‘good’ … and there was only ever room for one good sister in our family, and that meant I was relegated to the other position. So it’s nice to have Deb as the bad one, because that means I can move into the good spot!!]

    Have a good time anyway Deb and try not to let your guilt spoil your time away 🙂

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  34. Hi Deb, No time for guilt. It’s a time for enjoying the experiences and opportunities and along the way learning lots. The more fun you have the more you will have to share with your family and your new grandchild when you return. Will you continue writing during this period? The trip sounds like so much fun.

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    1. I’m at the airport waiting to board as we speak Julie. And yes I’ll try to keep writing during this time. Thanks for your words of wisdom I really appreciate it. 👋

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