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Posted on by Debbie

How to be a perfectly grateful blogger

News just in …..

I woke to the news recently that I have been nominated in the Best Lifestyle Blog category of the Annual Bloggers Bash Awards. I sincerely thank whoever nominated me and I humbly accept the nomination.  I’m thrilled, proud as punch and amazed to even be nominated! The award winners will be announced in London on June 15 2019.

Nominated in Best Lifestyle Blog category
Nominated in Best Lifestyle Blog category

BUT….

But there’s a problem – I’m a fraud. Well maybe that’s a bit harsh, I just feel like a fraud and only sometimes, not all the time!

I think I’m having one of my confidence meltdowns – where I don’t think I’m good enough, or have anything interesting to say or get confused or simply overwhelmed by everything. Do you ever feel like this?

Despite having been blogging for years and somehow amassing thousands of followers, I still don’t think I’m any good at it.  I’m not looking for compliments here or being self deprecating,  I’m seriously doubting my abilities – which I do from time to time!  At least I’m an honest fraudster  🙂 I’ll be fine in a day or two!

Why do I do this to myself and where has this feeling come from? 

I really had to stop and think about it. I don’t know if I’m just having a mini confidence crisis,  feeling lost, overwhelmed by things going on or is it just a slight case of imposter syndrome?

Maybe it’s just a mix of lots of things.  Hopefully it will pass and I will resume normal transmission soon. Do you feel like this sometimes, I’d love to know?

But I’ve also read a few articles about on-line bloggers/wellness experts/influencers who have abused their power and had some major negative press, and well deserved I must say, as a result of their questionable actions. Only this week I read Jennifer’s review of a book about one such person and as she said, if it was a novel, it would seem unbelievable.

I’m not one to presume to tell anyone what to do. I don’t like to give advice very often as I don’t think I’m qualified to do so.  Blogging is different for everyone, some want to entertain you, some want you to buy things, some want to rant about issues impacting on their lives, some want to tell you what to do.

I suppose this hit me as we all tend to hide a little behind our keyboards.  Life isn’t always as we blog about it.

I’m fortunate to have met in real life, some of my friends who I’ve got to know through this blogging community.  They have all been lovely, real, kind, generous, authentic and caring people – something I aim to be too.

Blogging Awards in fiction

Given the recent nominations for those of us lucky enough to have received them, these two books by Holly Wainwright also struck a chord.  I read them a while ago, and although works of fiction, they hit a nerve.

I thought of them and had a wry smile, as I read the post about the Annual Bloggers Bash Awards.  Thankfully I think it is an over the top depiction of bloggers, and none of us are going to go to such lengths to win an award!!

They are light reading but for those of us who are bloggers they also have some home truths, as many people can, and do, get caught up in their own ‘online’ and sometimes ‘unreal’ world.

The Mummy Bloggers by Holly Wainwright:

The blurb:

Sometimes life behind the screen is not as rosy as it seems… 

Meet three Mummy Bloggers – each of them followed, idolised, imitated, taunted and trolled online.

Elle Campbell is a glossy, lycra-clad mum with washboard abs, a ten-year plan and a secret past. Abi Black has quit sugar, moved to the country and is homeschooling her kids. Leisel Adams slogs away at her office job each day before rushing home, steeped in guilt, to spend precious moments with her kids before bedtime.

When all three women are nominated for a prestigious blogging award with a hefty cash prize, the scene is set for a brutal and often hilarious battle for hearts, minds-and clicks. As the awards night gets closer, their lies get bigger, their stunts get crazier – and some mistakes from the past become harder and harder to hide.

The Mummy Bloggers is a frank and funny look at the perils and perks of life online.

This was my review on Goodreads:

I was conflicted with this book. I’m a blogger, though not a mummy blogger, more of a midlife blogger, and understood many of the issues. The using everything that goes on around you for fodder for a post, the social media aspect and the time involved in maintaining a blog. Holly Wainwright got most of these things spot on. It made me stop and think about my ‘following’ and how intrusive some parts of blogging can be, in terms of time and effort. I don’t blog for money, have nothing to sell, and use it as a creative outlet but I could still see similarities, which I didn’t like! I also didn’t care much for the main characters. My blogging community is a much nicer world than the three bloggers in this story, I’m happy to say. The story was quite well done but it all just left me a bit cold at times. I also read the second book before reading this one so maybe that clouded my thinking a bit. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it either.

How to be Perfect by Holly Wainwright

The bestselling author of The Mummy Bloggers is back with another page-turning, rip-roaring story about mums, phones and the cult of self-improvement. 

In the rolling green hills of Australia’s hippest hinterland, a new guru is blogging about her breakfast. 

ELLE CAMPBELL is back, holed up in an exclusive retreat where women pay thousands to mimic her extreme lifestyle, or die trying. But who’s bankrolling Elle’s new empire? And why are her two tiny sons suddenly absent from her glossy public image? 

ABI BLACK just wants to marry her true love under a tree in the garden on New Year’s Eve. But her ex-husband is building a financial cult in the shed, Elle is looming and her teenage daughter’s YouTube channel is gaining followers for all the wrong reasons. The wedding might have to wait. 

FRANCES GRAHAM has a colicky newborn, an absent husband and a WhatsApp mothers’ group that’s giving her anxiety. But she’s certain that if she can just be more like those fitmums on Instagram, things can only get better. And surely, if she can scrape enough money together to make it to Elle’s retreat, everything in her life will be just . . . perfect.

Through a world of fake gurus, green smoothies and bad influencers, How to Be Perfect follows Elle, Abi and Frankie into the cult of self-improvement that’s taking over your phone . . . and your breakfast.

These books show just how easily people can get hooked on believing something that’s far from real. I’m not sure I recommend you read these books but it showed me how thankful I am that my blogging community is completely different to the world in these books.

What I’m trying to say is that blogging is like any creative artwork, we all have our ups and downs from time to time, a crisis of confidence, writer’s block, burnout – you name it!

Last year I was nominated in the Hidden Gem category of the Annual Bloggers Bash awards and was lucky enough to be able to attend the day in London (all the way from Australia). I placed third in the category so I suppose I can now say I’m an award winning blogger 🙂

How to be a perfectly grateful blogger

MY 6 TOP TIPS ON HOW TO BE A GRATEFUL BLOGGER:

I suggest we:

  1. Engage with others regularly
  2. Find a blogging buddy or a mentor and interact
  3. Check in on your buddies from time to time – it can be hard to know why some bloggers just disappear from our feeds
  4. Never be mean or nasty in comments – it is fine to agree to disagree but do so politely
  5. Try to meet in person – it can be such fun!
  6. Support each other wherever possible

So, in summary, I am trying to be a grateful blogger and I truly appreciate all your continued support.  Thanks again for the nomination, it made my day 🙂

Deb xx

I appreciate you

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You can also find Deb’s World here – let’s stay in touch!

112 Replies to “How to be a perfectly grateful blogger”

  2. Seems like the Blogger’s Bash has evolved with new categories! I would never think you were a fraud (although many women feel like this in business). Are you planning to attend this year? One of these days I hope to go just to meet everyone in person! Congrats again on your nomination!

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    1. No I’m unable to go this tear but it sounds like another fun event. Yes the different categories make it interesting this year. I’m not alone in feeling like a fraud every now and again, we seem to be quite prone to it as we age. Many thanks Terri!

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  3. Congratulations Deb on your nomination, I love your blog, the nomination is well deserved! I do know what you mean though about losing a little confidence every now and again because I do this regularly. I have blogging meltdowns and feel quite inadequate sometimes. I wonder how bloggers can post so often, hats off to them because I struggle with once a week! Well done and good luck 🙂

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  4. Hi Deb YOU ARE NOT A FRAUD!!!!!! You are a wonderfully warm, witty, creative woman who is admired by many not just for your blogging but for all that you do with Rotary and your community. I know exactly what you mean about feeling a fraud. I was at a function the other day and had donated a prize for the raffle. A woman asked me exactly what my service was on my blog and I really didn’t know how to answer that question. All I know is that I want to inspire others by sharing information I think will help. Like you I’m not an expert but I have had life experience. Social media, influencers and blogging can give a false impression of what life is like. Some bloggers seem very successful and then you find they have less followers than you do, but their confidence is sky high. I totally agree with you 6 tips and am so pleased and proud that I have you as a friend and not just a blogging friend. Have a beautiful day and congratulations on your nomination xx

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    2. Thanks for your lovely comment and your help too Sue, it means a lot to me! It’s been good to write this to get it off my chest but it’s surprising to hear that so many other accomplished bloggers also feel this way at times. Your skill set and knowledge are inspiring women everywhere, so just continue doing what you’re doing my friend!!

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  8. Hi Deb thanks for linking to my blog. I’m pleased you enjoyed my review. I did enjoy your review of Holly Wainwrights books. I would say you are definitely not a fraud. You’re a genuine caring blogger. But I do understand imposter syndrome. I’ve suffered with it many times. Congratulations on your nomination for the Bloggers Bash.

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    1. My pleasure Jennifer! It was a great fit with what I was trying to say. I really appreciate your comment and the fact that you also suffer from imposter syndrome, it’s a cruel thing isn’t it? This is the modified version of my post, my original was much more scathing of my abilities! Thanks for the message and congrats.

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  11. Hi Deb – congrats on the nomination. I have one too and I’m feeling a little under-whelmed rather than over-whelmed by it all. I don’t see the awards as the real recognition of what we’re doing – that comes from the people who read our stuff weekly because they love it – not from a random nomination and a committee. I guess if there was thousands of dollars or a guest appearance on Ellen at stake it might be a little bit more exciting – but these days I just think – how lovely to be thought of by someone and then get back to doing what I love and hanging out with my online pals. So forget being a fraud, just keep blogging for love and connection and we’ll all high five the winner and wait for the next round of nominations 🙂

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    2. Hi Leanne, I’m working back through all the lovely comments I’ve received and responding! Congrats to you for your nomination too, very well deserved I must say! I agree the rewards we get from blogging are the interactions from others and the thoughtful comments and support. I am humbly accepting of being nominated but don’t hold out any hopes of winning anything. I’ll join you in giving the winner a high five once they’re announced. Thanks for your sensible approach and making me see it from a different perspective. I really appreciate your wise words and encouragement. xx

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  12. Well deserved ~ Congratulations! I also lose a little confidence every now and then but I think that is normal. Trying to decide what to write about or say can be a challenge. I don’t write stories, just things in my life I would like to share with others. I only have a few followers, but that is not why I write a blog. I simply like to write, it is an outlet, and I love to read what others have to say. If someone leaves a comment, then that is icing on the cake for me! I enjoyed your tips for being a grateful blogger.

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    1. I’m starting to think it’s quite a normal thing too, after reading everyone’s comments, so many thanks for sharing your thoughts. I’m glad to hear you enjoy writing as an outlet as that’s my main reason do blogging too. I love getting comments and engaging with others and agree they’re like the icing on the cake. It’s so nice to have your support, many thanks again!

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  13. Hi Deb,
    I see this as great “advice” and a cautionary tale, especially for someone new to blogging – like me. I already can relate to the time spent in the aspects of blogging no one can relate to except the folks doing it. How all of a sudden your daily life events are always evaluated as to whether or not they can be used for blog fodder. And, I thought only I felt like an “imposter”…and thought it was because I have only just started blogging.
    Sometimes I just have to give myself a “talking to” that although I am new at blogging, I am not new at life. I have lots of things to share and this is primarily a creative and social outlet.
    Finally, my experience with the blogging community has been overwhelmingly positive and helpful.
    In my (newbie) opinion, your tips for being a grateful blogger are right on!
    And, congrats on the nomination…someone beat me to it.

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    1. Hi Nancy, you are so right about having lived a lot of life and experiences that go into our blogging life. I have given myself a talking to and am feeling much better now. It’s also helped hearing from so many people, that they too have felt this very same thing at times in their lives. Many thanks for your supportive comment, it is so lovely of you to take the time to connect, please know I sincerely appreciate your words of wisdom.

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  18. Congrats on your nomination, very well deserved. I don’t think I’ll be reading either of these books after seeing your reviews! To be honest, mummy bloggers are, to me, largely an alien life force, especially the ones who make blatant attempts to sell things. I’d rather read a more honest blog that is true to its author. Like yours 😊

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  19. I think many bloggers go through the whole thinking that they are some kind of a fraud when it comes to blogging, Debbie. We all lose confidence from time to time and deal with it in different ways. The books you read reminded me of a similar book I read about an author group and how one of the group stole the work of another member and claimed it to be her own. It was all very nasty, but an interesting story.
    I’ve come across a few trolls in the blogging world and deal with them by simply ignoring them. If they persist (and I’m following their blog) then I unfollow them. They soon move on.

    Many congratulations on your nomination. We’ll miss not seeing you at this year’s Bloggers Bash, but will hope you will be able to make it to a future one.

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    1. Hi Hugh, I’ve been down this track before but every now and again it flares up again. I’m so glad to find I’m not alone in thinking this way. It will go away and I’ll continue on as I have in the past! I am disappointed not to be attending the awards this year but you know I’ll be there in spirit with you all. Thanks for sharing your insights and thoughts, it means a lot to me.

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  23. Hello Debbie,

    Congratulations on your nomination! Thank you for reminding us how to be a grateful blogger. Blogging can be difficult and does require hard work. It can be easy to forget to be grateful.

    Best,
    Sigrid

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    1. Thank you Sigrid, I need to remind myself to be grateful sometimes so I’m happy to share my thoughts with others. Blogging is hard work at times but while I enjoy it I’ll keep on going. Take care 😊

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  24. I don’t feel like a fraud (actually I feel under appreciated but that’s because I’m a narcissist). My problem is that I constantly feel like I’m tapped out. Nothing more to say. Every time I post, I think, well now I’m used up. More comes out eventually, but I feel like the quality is lower than it was a couple of years ago. In your list, you write “meet in person”. I’ve considered this, but I have such a hard time sustaining conversation, I just think it would ruin everything.

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    1. Hi Jeff, thanks for taking the time to respond to my post. I understand the feeling of being ‘tapped out’ but I’m always surprised that something comes along to spark my creativity and off I go! I think maybe we expect too much of ourselves and you thinking the quality of your work has decreased is only your way of seeing things. Others would disagree! I worried about ‘meeting’ others in person and having enough to say but was pleasantly surprised when it happened and we talked for ages!! Thanks again for stopping by and all the best to you.

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  26. My thoughts on blogging often mirror yours.i often think who am I to be writing this ‘stuff’ – just who the hang do I think I am. But I enjoy the writing, so regardless of followers or awards, I’m going to keep writing – just for me. If anyone else enjoys what I write, or not, that’s ok too, but really the writing is predominantly for enhancing my own life’s experiences, – that’s unless I’m having an episode of the dreaded writers block, which I think we all get from time to time.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Chris, I’m with you on what we write and why! I’m always surprised when others enjoy my writing and have been humbled by this nomination and comments on this post. It seems I’m not alone in my thinking!!! All the best to you 🙂

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  28. Congratulations, Deb! Totally deserved. You have a contagious attitude and gratefulness is just one small aspect. So glad to have you as part of my blogging circle. Good luck in the voting!

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  30. My view, and this is the advice I’ve given to many friends over the years who have had a crisis of faith or worried about their intentions about something, is that if you’re worrying about this sort of thing and actively asking these sorts of questions then that is a really positive sign. It’s when we’re NOT thinking about these things, when we’re not questioning ourselves or holding ourselves accountable that we should begin to worry. Whether it’s blogging or anything else in life. But it’s really important to remember not to let those feelings and thoughts overwhelm us and I think that this nomination gives you a fantastic chance to do just that. You wouldn’t have gotten a nomination if people didn’t think that you deserved it 🙂

    Gaining self confidence in anything takes time, and even when we have gained it it can easily be knocked at any time. There is no shame on leaning on the support of others and letting them help you, or keep you steady from time to time 🙂 Enjoy your nomination and let it act as a reminder when those doubts plague you!

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    1. Thanks Heather, this comment is so helpful and encouraging! It shows me that I am on the right track and I feel better just having read your wise words. Self confidence is something that waxes and wanes with me and it is easily knocked off kilter. Your encouragement has helped enormously and I am grateful to you for taking the time to respond to my post.

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  31. Congratulations Deb! You’re not an imposter/fraud but I completely get how you feel that way because that is exactly how I feel about my recent Bupa experience – being a finalist in the blog awards and now being in their alumnae and part of the Bupa Influencer Program. I suffer Imposter Syndrome, Anxiety, and Comparison to others syndrome! On another topic – those books you’ve read sound hilarious. I think I’d read them for a good chuckle. I’m sure I’d see lots of things I could relate to but many I couldn’t. The midlife space in the blogging world is a very friendly one thank goodness! 🙂

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    1. Hi Min, thanks for your congrats, it’s lovely of you to share your thoughts as well. I enjoyed the books in a weird way, for their look at blogging from a different perspective and yes I did chuckle a few times but also cringed a lot! I agree the midlife space is full of amazingly supportive people and we’re so lucky to be a part of it. You are an awesome blogger and deserve your accolades too, x

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  32. Congratulations, Deb! A nomination is other people’s belief in you so I hope you enjoy it! That nomination will also bring a lot of other people who want to check out your posts and I think that can be intimidating. Enjoy it though, at least one person believes you deserve it and that is huge!! Good Luck!!

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  33. I struggle mightily with imposter syndrome, both on my blog and in my quest to begin a financial coaching practice. I know I can do the work but sometimes that nasty fear of being found out creeps in. Thanks, Deb, and congrats on the nomination! #MLSTL

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  36. Dear Deb.
    You are OK.
    You have sooooo many things going right for you as a blogger I can see.
    Many followers and connections. That for me would be the best way to judge your effectiveness
    You also blog from a range of human experiences and I love that about how you write and share.
    As for the imposter syndrome….drop it ! I must add, my blog post is about me and the BIG C (and it’s not cancer!)…I do think we women “suffer” from this much more than any bloke

    Congratulations on your nomination.

    Denyse xx
    #MLSTL

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    1. Hi Denyse, you always make me feel much better about myself, so many thanks for your insightful and perceptive comments. I did enjoy your C post and could relate to it all. You have so much wisdom to share. Thanks for your congrats, it means a lot to me. xx

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  37. Ah yes the well known Imposter Syndrome, I hope you get over it quickly, we all feel it from time to time. And a huge congratulations to you on your nomination.

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  38. Many congrats on your nomination and you are so NOT an imposter. I’m loving your Instagram feed by the way. Your photos are inspiring and gorgeous. Yes, I believe we should all try and meet up one day – somewhere 🙂 Shared on SM

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  40. Congratulations on your nomination. You certainly deserve it! You are not a fraud, but I understand those feelings. As long as you keep writing, I’ll keep coming around. (And not sure why, but your blog rejected my first comment, so this is the second one!)

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    1. Thanks for your support Jennifer, especially as your first message was rejected. I have no idea why it would do that!! I appreciate your encouragement and visits. You are an inspiration to me too.

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  41. You are not alone Deb. I have experienced imposter syndrome in every aspect of my life at one time or another–including my parenting, my paid job, and my blogging. As you said, it usually passes, especially if I remind myself of the things I have accomplished and that no one is perfect, even those who seem to have it all together. I love your tips on being a grateful blogger. I so enjoy interacting with the people I have “met” online in the blogging community. I hope to meet some–including you–in real life one day. Congratulations on your nomination! Enjoy it.

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    1. Thanks so much Christie. I’ve been surprised at the number of bloggers who have said they also suffer these feelings from time to time. I didn’t realise it was just so common. I’m glad my tips ring true with you and hope to meet up with many other bloggers in the years to come. Thanks for the congrats, I’m really pleased and honoured.

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  43. Congratulations Deb. You absolutely deserve this nomination. I always enjoy reading your posts because you are so honest and sincere, and humble. I agree with you, I find the blogging community to be generally very supportive, and though I’m still learning, I’m glad to be a part of it.

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  44. I was also pleasantly surprised to be nominated int eh “entertainment” category – and I plan to fly to London to meet everyone and have a fun day with this blogging community – but I immediately thought: now what do I do? How “Entertaining” do I have to be for the next two months? I post every single day in a variety of categories, so we’ll see if they are indeed “entertaining” or not, but I completely understand what you wrote here! Oh, and congratulations to you!

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    1. Oh that’s great to hear John and congrats to you. Last year I attended from Australia as I was over there visiting my daughter. I loved putting faces to names and chatting to everyone. I’m glad you could see what I was trying to say in my post. You are to be congratulated for posting everyday and the nomination 😊

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  46. Congratulations, darling YOU!! As I scrolled down to the comment box, I passed messages of love from so many blogger friends we have in common. You are loved. And this honor is most well deserved. Enjoy!

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    1. Thanks very much Victoria, the nomination was a surprise. I’m like you not an expert on anything but I do have lots of life experience!! Interaction is an enjoyable part of blogging for me as I’m quite a social person. Take care!

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  49. Well this was certainly a thought provoking post Deb but firstly congrats on being nominated. And yes, you DO deserve it because you’re genuine, talented, fun and far from a fraud. I tend to agree that blogging has its ups and downs but quite honestly I can’t imagine my life without it now. I’ve made some beautiful people through this platform. Yourself included. Have a fabulous weekend. xx

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  50. Wow a lot to reflect on here Deb. I appreciate your honesty and I think that is one key to your success. You are the real and genuine thing, not trying to be something you aren’t. A couple of years ago I went through this phase of not feeling good enough. I almost gave up blogging. I had to do some soul searching. I think for me the key is never to compare oneself. there will always be someone getting more page views or working with huge companies. For me the key was looking at what I wanted from blogging. What didn’t I like about it and making some changes based on those truths.Congratulations on your nomination! Very well deserved in my opinion. xoxo

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    1. Thanks so much for your encouragement and support Sue and for your understanding too. I’m glad to hear I come across as genuine and sincere. It’s interesting that many of us go through these stages from time to time and you’re right about comparing ourselves to others. It’s good to hear you also have had these thoughts and worked through them. Thanks for the congrats on the nomination, I’m really pleased. xx

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  51. Pingback: SENIOR SALON 2019 ROUNDUP: Feb 11-15, 2019 • Esme Salon

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