Recently I dropped my bundle, hit the wall, came to a standstill, had a hissy fit, fell apart, had a meltdown…..
Call it what you will, but I was basically wrung out.
And what was it that caused this minor meltdown?
On Friday morning I wrote a post about feeling discombobulated and by Friday night I was much more than just discombobulated, I was absolutely gutted, which set the tone for the weekend ahead!
Why now, after all I’ve just experienced and been through?
I asked myself this question a million times over the weekend, why now? Just give me a break will you??!!
It’s not the end of the world, some would say (and some did say). Your daughter and partner are coping, your granddaughter is improving, you are safely home, it’s just a broken tooth, buck up…
But it was enough for me to feel like taking to my bed and hiding away. Especially as I couldn’t get to a dentist until Monday at the earliest and I’m not a huge fan of dentists at the best of times. I have a long history with dentists and teeth in a very small mouth.
I wouldn’t look at my broken tooth, I couldn’t eat very well, I was scared of what would need to be done, I thought the worst case scenario, and I basically went into a little meltdown for a few days feeling very sorry for myself and being quite miserable to all around me. Not my usual perky self at all!
Isn’t it funny the little things that are enough to set you off, just like the saying ‘the straw that broke the camel’s back?’
The idiom “the straw that broke the camel’s back”, alluding to the proverb “it is the last straw that breaks the camel’s back”, describes the seemingly minor or routine action that causes an unpredictably large and sudden reaction, because of the cumulative effect of small actions.Source
Words of Wisdom from a friend
My blogging friend Denyse, who has seen her fair share of dental issues, with head and neck cancer, made a comment that meant a lot to me. She obviously gets it! Thank you again Denyse 🙂
You are allowed to have moods and feelings. Gosh mine have been a bit down in the past two days – after the highs of a couple of weeks. Life. So sorry about the broken tooth but sometimes ONE thing (which you can be a bit upset about) can open the avalanche of all the emotions of what you are going through. The grandchildren’s news: one turning one, one born very very early, and one expected. These are HUGE life events. Be kind to yourself.
I learned long ago, and have possible already mentioned it, but feelings take a lot longer to catch up to events. And you have experienced an avalanche of events.Denyse Whelan
I sat and read a great book over the weekend and completely lost myself in Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens; I socialised when I had to but it was noted that I wasn’t my usual smiley, chatty self – at all!! I was tired, I slept a lot, and when you think about it I was still probably suffering the effects of jet lag, so sleeping was a normal response.
First thing Monday morning I rang and got an appointment for later that morning. Considering I had to drive over 100kms, it was great timing. What’s funny is that the drive of 110kms took me about the same length of time it took me to drive the 22 miles in Bristol last month when I was visiting my daughter and granddaughter. But it was way less stressful and no road rage as happened to me in Bristol traffic. I listened to a humorous podcast all the way which took my mind off things. I decided that I had to be brave and let the professionals take care of me, so I pushed through my fear.
After the work was done I felt numb but better. I hadn’t enjoyed the experience but I had taken control of myself, I hadn’t given in to the fear and I was now back on the right track. I’m also aware that I’m fortunate to have good dental access, money to afford it and friends and family who support me in their own way.
And I recognised that the feeling of being miserable would pass eventually, I just had to ride the wave and try not to berate myself in the process. Self acceptance and self care are much underrated at times.
I feel a bit foolish looking back over the past few days, as my behaviour was way out of character for me. But I think it was the result of the cumulative events of late and my reaction was probably quite normal.
Feelings do indeed take a lot longer to catch up to events! And sometimes it’s the unlikely straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Have you ever had this type of response to seemingly minor events, I think it’s far more common than we realise, despite being told not to be so melodramatic about everything!!
I’ll be back to my bouncing best any day now! But I know that it’s OK not to be OK and to deal with it as best I can.
I’ve got this!
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