How do you manage to balance your self care in the world of social media?

What does self care mean to you?

It means different things to everyone.

It could be taking a break, reading a book, having some quiet time, going for a walk, catching up with friends, making time to have fun, blogging, a facial….whatever makes you feel cared for really.

Just be yourself
Just be yourself

A while ago I wrote a post about being afraid of losing my mojo and came up with these 6 helpful tips – helpful to me anyway!

  1. Find a way to have fun or a good belly laugh – what gets you laughing?
  2. Do something physical – fresh air and exercise are known to help improve your mood.
  3. Have a break from social media – it can be very draining.
  4. Take note of who you’re mixing with, are they bringing you down in some way?
  5. Don’t isolate yourself. Get out there and mix with others, even though it can be hard to do.
  6. Talk to others or write your thoughts down – even if it’s on your blog, it can help just to get your thoughts out there.

In my case I tend to use blogging as a form of self care.

You have your own blog? Your life must be all kinds of fascinating.
You have your own blog?

Social Media

Social media can be a great tool and it can help us stay connected but it can also be a time waster and can mess with our heads.

Let’s hear a story:

There was once a lovely lady who worked hard but was made redundant from her rewarding job in her mid 50s. She was sociable, friendly, couldn’t say no people asking for help and got involved in lots of community based activities because she enjoyed being useful and had time to do so.

Along with many others in her small town, she got involved in the formation of a new and exciting project. They saw it as a great way to invigorate the town, improve people’s health and fitness, get families in the great outdoors, bring tourists to the area, keep the history alive and a fun way of seeing the countryside with friends.

Finally it was happening, all their hard work had paid off and they entered the world of social media to share their delight, only to find not everyone was as delighted as they were and didn’t mind saying so. In mean and nasty ways in fact.

A recent story on local radio, our national broadcaster no less, and later shared on their Facebook page, which could have been used as a positive tool to help with bushfire affected areas, only managed to re-open many of the naysayers’ minds and so their arguments flowed forth once again.

Our poor lovely lady (stupidly in hindsight) read through the many hundreds of comments looking for the support and encouragement and belief in their project, which was nearly ready to open.

But there were hardly any positives, only negatives, old arguments, untruths, mythical issues and it all wounded her heart deeply. Her head was in a bad place for days afterwards, especially when some locals joined in with their criticism with selfish statements shared over social media.

social media
Photo by Tracy Le Blanc on Pexels.com

This is a sorry tale but it is sad because it’s all too true. It happens time and time again. People get blasted by others on social media, many of whom they don’t even know. Horrible things are said and it can get out of control very easily. Even world leaders indulge in it.

It has to be remembered that it’s not social media’s fault, because that is just the tool.

It seems to be a way of thinking that has taken over, sharing your opinion in whatever way you feel like, not considering how your words will be taken, faceless keyboard warriors who want to make others feel bad. The good ones aren’t game to comment because they don’t want to get taken down too. Some fight back, and it is like a warzone at times, with comments getting more and more outrageous. It’s easier said than done to simply say ‘don’t read them’.

Self care

So how do we cope?

I’m quite a sensitive soul, a bit like the lovely lady in our story above, and I take things to heart, despite knowing I shouldn’t. I mull over them, worry about things and generally make myself sick with overthinking. It seems to be that it’s a part of the world today where this form of sharing your opinion becomes prevalent and accepted. Maybe I need to broaden my shoulders and get a thicker skin!

My self care regime includes telling people I’m not feeling too good about things and explaining why. I find if I can unload by either talking about it or writing about it I can cope a bit better.

I try to walk it off, my daughters remember in their teenage years when I would just take off for a walk, they sometimes wouldn’t know if I’d come back or not if I was very upset, but I always did. It still works for me today!

I try to remember my 6 tips above and use them to move forward and eventually I get it out of my system but it can take a while. I can see how on-line bullying has become such an issue.

Self care is vitally important, we can’t take for granted or underestimate the power of good. We can’t be positive and happy all the time but we can look and accept different perspectives. They might not be our agenda but we can all learn to be a little more accepting and take care of ourselves, first and foremost.

I read a great post from Min at Write of the Middle, all about coping with ongoing traumatic news and she had some great tips. I’d recommend you pop over and read her post – Self Care Tips for when there’s ongoing traumatic news

I particularly liked this paragraph at the end of her post in relation to self care:

Remember the saying ‘we can’t pour from an empty cup’ – well that applies in this circumstance as well. We must look after ourselves in order to be any help to others.  Whilst we’re on the topic of quotes – take note of the Rumi quote in the image above as it basically provides the same message.  Taking care of ourselves is not selfish.  It is essential.

Another great post I read recently was from a favourite blogger and author, Shelley Wilson, who wrote a guest post How important is self care for Writers – as some of us are bloggers I think this can apply to us as well.

And of course I can’t go past my favourite blogger Sue at Sizzling Towards 60 and Beyond, she has masses of posts about self care, especially as we age. You can find a selection here – Self care posts.

What does self care mean to you and how do you balance things?

In a world where celebrities and non-celebrities alike end up taking their lives due to some of these issues it’s a reminder for us all to be kind.

Yes you have the right to an opinion, and even to share it, but take a moment to think about how your words may impact on another person, before you tap tap tap away on your keyboard.

I’d love to hear from you.

Deb xx

Linking up with Denyse for #Lifethisweek – Self care stories


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65 Replies to “How do you manage to balance your self care in the world of social media?”

  1. Thank you for this post and the six ideas. I also enjoyed reading through the comments. As a new blogger, I find that taking the time to do my own blog, writing and editing take a lot more time than I anticipated. I only post two days a week and I unplug two days a week so both impact the time I spend on social media. The unplugging for me is vital self care. Writing the blog itself is both fun and draining. Unplugging for a second day is a temporary discipline I hope to keep up through Easter and then re-evaluate. It is also helpful in that regard to have friends that I trust enough to allow them to hold me accountable and they d. That, too is part of my self-care; accountability..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you got something from my post and for leaving me a comment with your thoughts. I love the blogging community for putting us in touch with others. You sound like you are doing a great job of handling the pressures and I like accountability! Thanks again for your comment and I wish you well.

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  2. Hi Deb, Today another blogger used the phrase “blog sanctuary.” A agree with you on how it is a form of self care. Unfortunately, I have also heard the sad, social media tale. I find generally fellow bloggers are very supportive and in another category from Facebook and Twitter. I do agree with you on how it’s easier said than done to simply say ‘don’t read them.’ Great tips, Deb. I am heading over to Min and Shelley’s site next. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for writing this much needed post, Deb. When I am expressing an opinion, especially one that may be controversial, I like to look at my intention. What am I hoping to accomplish with what I am about to say or write? Even if what I am about to say is “true,” what is my purpose in saying it? To help or to hurt? To share knowledge or to prove someone wrong? As far as other people’s comments on social media, I try to keep an open mind and really listen to opinions that are different from mine. I don’t want to create a silo where I’m surrounded by people who think exactly as I do. That said, if those opinions are expressed in a cruel or disrespectful way, I will either unfollow or snooze that person for a time. As far as self-care, I rely on many of the things you suggest, walking (especially in nature), talking to friends, or writing things out. Sending virtual hugs your way! XO

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post! Yes, it seems these days everyone’s an expert on everything and it’s far too easy to hide behind our keyboards and sprout off negative comments. Glad you’ve found what works for you Deb, in dealing with negative situations on social media. I tend to lose myself in walks too when things get hard. Nature’s always a good tonic. So is music. Take care. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. A very interesting and not unfamiliar issue relating to small town politics. We loved our times in country schools but by the time we got to the very isolated school where we were the 2 teachers and we had about 25 kids, my husband had become physically unwell (the Dept medically retired him 4 years later) and we left to return to make our home in Sydney. We were treated abominably by the ‘local cocky’s wife’ who saw our leaving as personal. A gift the P&C had ready for us, was substituted by her with some sheets from her linen press. Sad days and we gave a LOT of ourselves to those kids and community. Anyway, yes none of us are immune from this but manners are always helpful on-line. Some keyboard warriors are B A D. Don’t read the comments is the advice of many. Thank you for being part of Life This Week. Next Week’s optional prompt is 8/51 Unusual 23/2/2020. Hope to see you link up again too! Denyse.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I knew you’d understand the situation Denyse! Small towns are great but they can also be quite hard. Thanks for sharing your experiences, they always resonate with me. I appreciate the weekly linkup for the opportunity to write or share thoughts. See you next week 🙂

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  6. Unfortunately, social media has become a major platform to heap scorn on people and ideas. I guess it makes people feel superior, but it’s damaging and unproductive. My way to resolve the problem is to hang out mostly on runners’ sites. Most runners are positive and encouraging.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Such an interesting read, Debbie. The online world has taken over many of our lives. Selfcare is so important. It can be hard to do, but limiting yourself in the online world is the best road to take. Like Sam mentioned in her comment, take breaks and don’t allow it to take over your life. Never, never respond to the comments left by trolls or try to tackle them. Block them.

    I’ve recently unfollowed a blogger whose comments had become very unfriendly. She even threatened to delete any more comments I left on one of her posts because (in her words) she was fed up with getting them. I also saw how unfriendly and rude some of her comments to other bloggers were. I’d only recently started following her blog (it was recommended to me) but didn’t want to stay around someone who seemed very cynical and who didn’t seem to care about how she responded to comments.

    Nobody should put their health or mental health in any risk. I know it can be hard not to read those unfriendly comments, but I deal with them by seeing them as something I don’t want to come into contact with – such as a snake. It seems to work for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Many thanks Hugh, I always enjoy getting your comments and thoughts. I can’t believe that blogger made such comments to you, it’s just mind boggling!! Your experiences are very interesting to read and I really can’t imagine a blogger behaving like that to their visitors. Thanks again, and keep your comments coming!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Hi Deb – thanks so much for the mention and link to my post. You sound very much like me – a sensitive soul who can take things to heart and mull things over and even have my sleep affected! I find nature helps me when I’m upset or stressed – a walk out in nature does me the world of good. I like quiet alone time and other things like a spa pedicure or reading a good book but nature tops the list for me for helping to set me right again. Social media drains the life out of me which is hard cos it’s integral to all that I do these days. I just have to monitor my use of it and how I’m feeling. I good and proper digital detox now and then is always good. Fabulous post and so relevant at the moment! xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you didn’t mind me linking to your excellent post Min, thanks again for your words. Your comment is full of great advice and a detox is always a good idea to help stay sane. I felt is was relevant and timely too. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.

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  9. Oh Deb, I am the same as in very sensitive [though usually turn that into a gruff to cover it up 🙂 ] and I can only imagine how you must have felt. Especially when you and others have put your time and effort into a wonderful project. If I lived there I would be patting you on your back and saying “Thanks Deb for all your hard work”. Keep your chin up girl, I for one like you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Self care for me, certainly a few months ago, had to include stepping back from social media as I felt I was drowning in it. Since starting my blog, I found it was the ‘keeping up’ with social media that was dragging me down and that isn’t like me at all. Although social media is important when it comes to blogging, I had to cut it back. I now am on my phone a lot less and I feel so much better. I love my blog, and realise that follows are a lot less now that I have cut back, but I had to make that choice and for me personally, it was the right one. Yes I still blog and yes I do still spend some time on social media, but a lot less. Great post Debbie

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Oh gosh, this is such an appropriate post today. Our headline news here in the UK this weekend was about a tv celebrity who took her own life after being hounded by the media.
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/feb/17/caroline-flack-death-tabloids-domestic-abuse-vulnerable-woman
    It’s too easy for people to write cruel, hurtful things and sometimes incorrect things without thinking how the subject of their words will feel when reading them.
    There is much truth in the saying ‘if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all’. We are all entitled to our opinion but it costs nothing to be kind.
    Social media has been a great development in so many ways, and it is a shame when it loses it’s positivity.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree wholeheartedly with you Deb, and the timing of my post was purely coincidental. What an awful thing to happen again, it is just so wrong that people feel they can attack like they do. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and the link to the story. So nice to see we’re on the same page (again!).

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  12. Self care is so vitally important especially in these days of social media. The world is a much smaller place with so many more people involved, or seemingly involved, in every aspect of our lives. It’s virtually impossible not to be affected by cruel or mean comments as social interaction is what it’s all about. I try and put it into context by just confirming that although it is everybody’s right to have an opinion I don’t actually care what complete, unpleasant strangers think. It’s just like someone shouting at you in the street. Move on and don’t respond and they don’t get the reaction that they crave. Not easy though.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Hi Deb – I think self-care is something we all need to practice more in our lives. We can be going along fine, and then start spiralling downwards without realizing what’s happening until we hit a really low point. I’ve found I’m a lot better now I’m out of the day to day niggles and stresses of work. I like that I choose what I look at, what I read, and who I speak to – and I think what you said about letting others know you’re feeling low or flat helps because it means you’re acknowledging it, and hopefully beginning to look at ways of getting your mojo back up and running.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Glad to be reminded of the empty cup analogy. The whole time I was a young and then young-ish mom, my personal cup was practically bone dry. It is hard to balance everything as a working mom. These days, I can get very caught up in being a grandmother but every day I seem to have at least a little time to recharge and do something for myself. This season of life is pretty fabulous.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Self care to me means knowing my limits and not being shamed into letting them slide. I like your six helpful tips, although sometimes I actually need to isolate myself to reset! That’s different to living a generally isolated life, though. Thanks for the brain food.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Firstly, how dare they! Secondly, I don’t read my own reviews for this reason. Seriously though, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say it at all – and certainly not from the distance of a social media account. That is the epitome of gutless and cruel. As an aside, I happen to think you’re brilliant. So there.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. I think taking a break from social media works well, but when we’re feeling better, I think it’s really important to make positive contributions to the internet world and ignore those who are so careless with their angry words.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. It is a tough question and a really sad story.

    This is what I do. Limit time on social media. Completely switch of wifi fro time to time, dont believe all that wifi energy is god fr us. I delete, I ignore such comments. I know easier said than done. But for peace of one’s own mind, I think there is no other choice? Or is there ?

    It is a shame that people are so thoughtless.

    I think I need to work getting thick skinned too. Sometimes we just need to be deliberately, blind and deaf. If that makes sense.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Love those six tips! I think the rule of thumb should be that if you wouldn’t say it to someone face to face then you shouldn’t say it on the socials. A little bit of kindness goes a long way. When I find social media and the media in general a bit too much, I step away from the computer and get out into nature or curl up with a book. Self care matters!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Hello Deb and thank you firstly for your mention of my blog and lovely words. Like you I am quite sensitive which is difficult in this new age that we live in where no one really seems to care how their words or deeds affect others. I hear where you are coming from especially with Social Media. I know from my Facebook Group there are times when I’m trying to send a positive message to help others and then you get a couple of ‘Negative Nellies’ who put a downer on things. It is very hard to take these types of comments especially with all the work you have put in and especially for your community rather than for your own gain. I love your self care tips and yes, I’m a huge believer in self-care as a way of self-preservation. I’ve just come back from the gym and feeling ready to take on the week. I find that exercise in any form, relaxing with a book, having my hair done etc really helps settles my mind. thank you for being so honest in your post and remember you are special and well respected in your Community, your blog and in life. Sending you a big hug because I think that always helps too. Take care ,my friend. xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much Sue, for always being understanding and supportive. I try to be honest at all times and as it’s my blog I can share my thoughts without fear, I am rarely mean and nasty. It helps me to write things out and I love our blogging community for the support we give each other. Thanks for all your posts and tips on self care, to me you are the guru on this stuff! I’m glad you could relate to what I was trying to say. Have a great week xx

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  21. Deb I love your self cate tips. Social media is a big part of my life, but I really don’t enjoy the negativity. The town where I work has a FB community page which has become a place for people to abuse each other. People wanting to make genuine helpful comments are feeling intimidated and not posting. I find this very sad. Our Rail Trail is planning an extension . Reading their FB page is very upsetting due to the negative comments so I can understand how you have been feeling. Sharing #lifethisweek

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your understanding Jennifer, it seems to be a widespread type of behaviour and one that is very sad especially in small towns when friends can end up being at opposite ends of the argument. It seems a lot of people can’t find any other way to manage their feelings apart from typing them in response to a post. I love my blogging community because there’s rarely any negativity and meanness there!

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  22. Hi Deb, Good question and great resources that you’ve listed (your 6 tips, Min’s post, Sue’s blog and Shelley’s article). If I may add a self-care tip, it’s that I pay attention and diversify my activities to feed a balanced “diet” for all five senses (What would enhance what I see, hear, taste, touch, feel? How often I’m feeding each sense?). #lifethisweek

    Liked by 3 people

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