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Posted on by Debbie

When Plan A doesn’t work, switch to Plan B

Sitting and waiting

I’m sitting on the verandah in the glorious morning sunshine, midway through August, blue sky bright above me, there’s a touch of a breeze and a nip in the air, with the temperature a chilly 6 degrees C.

I’m waiting for special visitors to arrive, my youngest daughter, son-in-law and my 18 month old grandson. Not far behind them are another daughter, son-in-law, granddaughter and grandson. Both families are coming from other states within Australia.

Granny Debs (aka me) and Papa G are so excited to introduce Patrick to where his mummy grew up, walk in the paddocks, watch the kangaroos bound away, look for wombats, ride the grumbling tractor, ride the rail trail with Patrick and Emilia in the special trailer we bought especially for this purpose. We will look for snow, despite the ‘warm’ weather, watch the grandkids play together on the swing we put up in the tree in the garden, wander the shops in town, noticing how the girls greet old friends they haven’t seen for years, eat in cafes, play in the park, sit around the fire-pit in the late afternoon enjoying this special time together. My daughters introduce their babies, cousins, to each other, the first time in the case of the latest arrival and I get to coo and cluck over them all.

But sadly it’s all a dream, a long held plan we’ve been looking forward to for months, with intricate planning, clothes purchased for the cold weather (compared to Qld in winter, it’s cold down here), menus planned, bedrooms organised, anticipation levels on high alert.

The news isn’t good for much of Australia this morning with a lot of the country in the throes of a Delta led third wave. It’s spreading quickly and is now moving into regional areas, which is not good.

But we are getting vaccinated in droves which is great news. My daughter had her first vaccination this week, which prompted me to send her a message – Eliiiiiza had the Pfiiiizer 🙂 The Mathematician and I are due for our 2nd AZ in coming weeks.

My lovely daughters had this made for me
My lovely daughters had this made for my 60th birthday

The Reality

Instead, I’m sitting on the verandah in the glorious morning sunshine, midway through August, blue sky bright above me, there’s a touch of a breeze and a nip in the air, with the temperature a chilly 6 degrees C, waiting for special visitors who won’t be arriving anytime soon.

I’m crying…except it’s not the tears of joy as I was hoping!

Do we need to talk about Covid and its impact again?

I’m crying Covid tears. So yes we keep coming back to the impact of Covid – from here and around the world.

Photo by Edward Jenner on Pexels.com

Now, as you may know, I’m usually a pretty up beat, optimistic type and I can always see the bright side – is it my Pollyanna personality type do you think?

But it got to me this morning, especially when my youngest daughter sent a text saying ‘If things had gone to plan I would be…’ and that started this post.

Patrick in his winter coat
Patrick in his winter coat bought especially for his trip

At the moment, I am actually on a 14 day ‘stay at home’ order as I was in Canberra during the most recent outbreak there. I had gone over for 2 days to help my daughter out with her sick little ones. Since coming home I’ve had a head cold, caught from my two sick grandchildren, and so haven’t been out and about much at all. I’ve also had my first ever Covid test.

I must say I am impressed with living in a small town. On the offical NSW Covid site it looked like I would have to drive 80-110 km to a testing site, but after calling the local hospital and asking for suggestions, it appears the local doctor’s surgery can give you a do-it-at-home Covid test kit. Both the Mathematician and I did it, collecting swabs from our throat and nose, and returned them to the local surgery for processing – easy done! Goodness knows how long it will take to come back, but while I expect it to come back negative, there is always that little grain of fear. (Update: tests were negative)

Now we wait at home in the sunshine – but it’s not the waiting I was expecting to be doing. Yesterday was Friday 13th by the way!

I’m not wallowing, honestly, I know there are others far worse off than me, but I just wanted to collect my thoughts and as this is my own little world, where else would I share them?

  • Patrick
    Patrick
  • Patrick at daycare
    Patrick at daycare

Everyday I look at photos of my grandchildren from their relevant daycare centres, I facetime with them all -sometimes all at once – and we are in contact every day, one way or another. I was just wanting more at the moment, is that too much to ask?

These articles hit a chord with me too – It really wasn’t meant to be like this by Holly Wainwright and this article on things to be angry about by Clare and Jessie Stephens

We’re angry because we’re not allowed to be angry. Because millions of people have it worse. Because the things that make us angry are less legitimate, less significant, less than what’s making other people angry.

Source
Granny Debs and Patrick
Granny Debs and Patrick earlier in 2021 in happier times

So what’s next? Plan B

For the moment, we have Plan B in place, with everything crossed that we can possibly cross, for a family Christmas get together. Accomodation has been booked for months, flights sorted and travel plans made – please, please let us have this time together!

Meanwhile in Australia

These Meanwhile in Australia videos by comedian Jimmy Rees, have been making me laugh and show our Aussie sense of humour – the latest version #30 is all about Canberra joining the lockdown club and made me laugh out loud this morning! Enjoy 🙂

There’s a lot going on in the world at the moment isn’t there?

But it’s starting to warm up here, buds are budding and spring isn’t far away. Magpies have started swooping and the sun is shining today as I write this outside on my deck, still in my pyjamas. I’m reading lots of books, listening to music, doing only the necessary, drinking lots of tea and looking forward to brighter times ahead.

It seems I can’t help it, I’m still looking on the bright side.

How are you coping? I’d love to hear from you, I’m not all that busy at the moment.

Deb 🙂

Sharing for Natalie’s #WeekendCoffeeShare – check out some of the great posts!

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Debbie - mother of a 40 year old

Deb is a young-at-heart & active 60+ blogger/retiree, after being made redundant from her 22-year career managing education programs in a men’s correctional centre (jail). She now spends her time reading, blogging, riding her ebike and travelling. Deb was awarded a Bravery Award from the Queen when she was 17 after a tragic accident – a definite life changing moment! She is married with 3 grown-up daughters & has 4 grandchildren. You can read more of Deb’s story here

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70 Replies to “When Plan A doesn’t work, switch to Plan B”

  1. Oh Deb, this was so poignant and heartfelt, keep dreaming my friend, to be with your family again and for the world to right itself. Crazy uncertain times right now but I loved the video you posted and it gave me a good laugh this morning. I had my first covid test a couple of days ago too as we just crossed the border into WA and like everyone who crosses the border it’s compulsory now. So we’re just sitting, hoping, waiting it out. Feel very grateful to be here (even in iso and quarantine) at a time when friends and family back home are continually locked down. Take care and sending lots of love. xxx

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    1. Thanks Miriam, it’s been up and down hasn’t it? Your travels sound wonderful and I envy you being out on the road. Hope your tests were negative and you can continue travelling, ours were negative in the end. Continue enjoying your time away and don’t rush to go home!

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    1. Yes I agree Toni, I will have my second shot on Monday and am pleased it’s sooner rather than later. Our little Dottie has been in hospital this week and will turn 2 not far from where she was born at 25 weeks!

      I feel for you too with your granddaughter unwell, hoping all goes well and she’s home soon. It’s so hard being a grandmother at times!! x

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  4. Oh Debbie! I am so heartbroken that your Plan A didn’t work out – you must have been guttered! I’ve been in this position before (my American family were supposed to meet us in Japan at the start of this craziness) so I really feel for you.

    I really hope that Plan B for Christmas works out.

    There are so many rampant feelings running around – up and down and up and down we go. Trying to deal with them all is very trying on some days. Hang in there. Keep sane & well.

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    1. Oh many thanks to you Ju-Lyn, I just needed to get the words and sadness out of my head. I completely understand of course and just hope we can get together for Christmas.

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  6. Hi Deb. I don’t have any words of wisdom, just thought I’d say, hello. I hope things get better in Australia, and that you will soon be able to spend time with your family. We’re in Georgia, and can’t see our children and grandchildren either. I hope things get better across the world. xxx

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  7. Wow, that sounds awful for you in regards to covid. Here, in Northern Kentucky, USA, Delta is just gaining steam. The news reported that our local hospitals covid ward is now in overflow for new cases of delta & covid… 99% of patients are children who have no vaccine as of yet. It tears my heart out to think of these wee ones suffering so. Masks are up to the individual. Hubby and I wear ours… not taking chances. And, as of this week, we’ve decided to isolate outside of work, and my coming out for my online class. Which I do at the library in a study cube, so I’m as isolated as I can be.

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    1. Yes it’s coming back at us all and I know there are so many similar stories to mine. We aren’t doing much or going out and about. It’s just too worrying at the moment. I have my second vaccination due on Monday so that will be good! Take care.

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      1. We’re at the point of scheduling a booster. We both had covid back at the very beginning even before there was a test. It’s very scary… Very, very scary…. So I wish more people would take heed and precautions.

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  10. I get the whole Plan A Plan B thing — that was us at Christmas last year. Who knows where we will be at Christmas this year as Canada has now officially entered the 4th wave despite our high vaccination rates. Even though most everyone I know is doubly vaccinated we still need to be careful as we could be asymptomatic and transmit it to our grandchildren who can’t get vaccinated. It seems the Delta variant is harder on kids than the original so better safe than sorry. We are off to the next province for my M-I-L’s internment and I am honestly not all that thrilled to be travelling.
    I can not believe I am the first commenter to mention how insanely funny that video was! I actually roared out loud with laughter and will definitely look it up and watch more of them. Sometimes laughter is the only medicine. Technology is great but it doesn’t replace real hugs and snuggles. So sorry again about your plans. I totally get the disappointment and was lucky that our world included outside visits even if it was -25. Take care and fingers crossed for a negative test. Bernie

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    1. I’m so pleased you watched the video and ‘got it’ BernieLynne. I was hoping it wouldn’t be too Australian but it seems his humour can be universal. When things change, we all now wait impatiently for his video update to make us laugh instead of crying! Travel safely and I do hope things settle down around the world soon!

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  11. A couple of weeks ago, my 9 month old daughter took her first COVID test. Though I was confident she was negative — since entire daycare staff and pretty everyone she interacts with is vaccinated — there’s always that possibility of an anomaly. Thankfully it came out negative. Good luck and here’s to hoping you get to spend Christmas together!

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  12. I feel for you Deb as it is just so difficult not being with family especially the special times you had planned. Your post is so touching and reflects what most of us are feeling at this time about COVID, people not doing the right thing but most of all the stress and anxiety of not seeing loved ones. I am so grateful that I can see my grandsons and don’t take that for granted. Hopefully Christmas will see your Plan B in full swing, surrounded by your loved ones and enjoying every moment of making memories. Sending love and hugs to you all. xx

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    1. Thanks Sue, you are so lovely! I just need to write down and capture my feelings as it always makes me feel better afterwards. I’m glad you thought my post was touching, I worry sometimes I’m being too authentic! Hugs are most appreciated. xx

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  14. Oh Deb, Thinking of you and my family and friends in Australia. Sending you warm hugs and positive thoughts. I hope your Christmas plan comes together beautifully. Thank you for linking up with #weekendcoffeeshare.

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    1. Thanks Natalie, it’s all understandable and hopefully these extra lockdown conditions help ease the situation soon. I just wanted to record my thoughts at the time…

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    1. I know it’s awful isn’t it? My husband makes a video of a story or nursery rhyme most days and sends it to our daughters to share with the grandkids, it helps keep their relationship alive! Yes, everything is crossed for the end of the year’s plans.

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      1. That’s a great idea! Gosh, I don’t know how we would have gotten through this last 18 months without our “gadgets.”
        Sending goid thoughts your way 🙂

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  17. I’m sorry about all your ruined plans, Deb 😦 Covid has ruined so much, for everyone, everywhere.. and it’s ok to be angry. Even if other people have it worse, we still suffer when bad things happen, and it’s totally ok even if we’re among the more privileged people!
    When I worked as a nurse, patients often said “I shouldn’t complain” (and we’re talking about terminally ill people here) and I always replied, “it’s totally ok to complain sometimes”.
    Over here, Delta is raging bad, cases are rising and hospital numbers are increasing, but still not near what we’ve seen in the past, we do see the effect of the large number of adults being vaccinated. I’ve had a quite awful summer with lots of worry and anxiety, and restlessness and anger about ruined hopes and plans, but have come to the acceptance that the situation is still ***** despite vaccines, but I can still do my best to embrace the good things that I have in my life. My best coping strategy is still music and other creative activities.

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    1. Many thanks for your lovely comments Susanne. It’s heartening to have the support and understanding of others, such as yourself. I also have my creative activities, and walking alone in the forest is the most calming. Yes it’s all going to be happening for a while to come and we just have to accept some of it as best we can. Take care and thanks again for your support.

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  18. I guess we here in thr UK are able to begin to say we’re feeling positive without it meaning we’ve got the bug. Even with a daily rate of about 30k cases (statistically we test more people per capita than any country esp of our size and most cases are on the 12-24 range without bad outcomes- some comfort) and maybe 80 deaths the sense is life is getting to be more stable. I’m at Lords for the test v India. Its full and buzzing. You still see a lot of masks esp on public transport but not the same nervousness. My son marries at home in 2 weeks – 150 guests in a marquee. I don’t think anyone feels bad. Everyone over 35 who wants to will be double jabbed. So our way of viewing it is different to yours . Not sure what’s better but the sooner you guys get your jabs up to North of 65% of adults the sooner you’ll open up. Hope you see the family soon

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    1. Yes the terms positive and negative have different connotations at the moment don’t they Geoff? I have been following your wedding progress and the garden is looking fabulous! Yes our vaccination rates are increasing rapidly and we look forward to being in a better position in a few months time. Enjoy your time at Lords and thanks for sharing your perspective.

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  19. I’m so sorry your plans fell apart and I know how much you would have been anticipating the joy at having the family together.
    Last year an old school friend who lives in Perth sent a ’round robin’ Christmas email to the rest of our class who still keep in contact. He was saying how everything was so normal where he was living, they had all the family coming over for Christmas, had been to see grandchildren in school concerts, theatre trips etc etc. All of us in the UK were happy for him of course, but it felt so hard to read when we had all been plunged back into lockdown and Christmas in our area was effectively cancelled. Fast forward 8 months and things seem to have swapped, we are tentatively going out and mixing again, and Australia is gradually hunkering down. I do hope that as the vaccination process builds up speed over there that you can soon rearrange your family gathering.
    What lovely photos of Patrick, you must be itching to give him a big hug.

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    1. Yes Deb, it seems positions have been switched, although Perth and WA haven’t had a hard time of it, it’s more in the eastern states. I’m so glad to read that you are cautiously moving out in the world again and we should be better off when our vaccination rates get a bit higher. Patrick is really growing up fast and yes I’m itching for a cuddle. Thanks for stopping by and for your support.

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  21. Oh how disappointing for you.. all that planning. So good you get to FaceTime. Things are not looking good on the East side but I do feel the media makes it so much worse. I’m sure WA will be following soon. We have seen a bit of sun recently and my grandson thinks it’s now summer or “summer in the pool” at least.
    Rosie had her op last week so horribly traumatic for her. Adenoids out, airholes plugged and her uvula scrapped. She’s out though and was very happy with me today..shame I cant post photos on comments!
    Hubby and me are off on a little break down south tomorrow. Take care Deb and just do as many nice things as you can 🥰

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    1. Yes Alison, very disappointing but that’s the way of the world at the moment it seems, ups and downs. I’m so pleased the surgery went well, although. it’s awful just thinking about all that!! Enjoy your travels and take care x

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  22. Yes even those of us who are positive – and I think there is a positivity gene – are finding our positivity stretched. Of course we are still mega lucky compared with so many people and places, but those early years are so precious and short we don’t want to miss them.

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    1. I agree with you, it’s even hard to write the word positive without thinking of the virus! We are all being stretched, hopefully things will improve soon.x

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  23. We had a similar experience at new year. My son found out at the last minute that he could not visit from London. He is coming this weekend so things are looking up. I have had several tests, both vaccinations and a couple of weeks of isolation. My daughter has had covid, both jabs and still had to isolate when she got the dreaded ping.
    I hope Australia learns to live with the virus.

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    1. Hi Anne, I hope you have a lovely visit with your son, it’s been tough over there as well but it seems you are doing well with vaccinations. I hope your daughter is OK, it’s such a worry!

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  25. Deb I feel for you so much. Your post brought tears to my eyes. If I was honest, I’d say that my tears have been quite close to the surface for the past few days. I’ve also been missing my family, and suffering from knowing it’s going to be a long while now until it will be able to see my son and grandchildren. On the positive Deb, it’s so great that you have this safe place to voice your thoughts, knowing that you won’t be judged. Your writing in this post is beautiful and very evocative. Take care x

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    1. Hi Jen, many thanks for your lovely comment. It seems many of of us are quite teary at the moment, it’s just so hard isn’t it? I can imagine you’ve been missing your family and grandchildren, its the uncertainty of when we’ll see them again that hurts the most. Take care xx

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  27. I’m so sorry you’ve been so affected by this Deb. Here in WA it makes me feel a bit guilty at times that we’re all doing so well. I know that sooner or later it will be our turn – you can’t legislate against a virus! But in the meantime, it’s been such a blessing to be able to move around maskless. Lovely to see the photos and that you can be virtually in touch, but it still sucks when you miss out on the family gatherings that keep getting postponed. Sending you a giant hug and fingers crossed for Christmas (and maybe even an in-between catch up time) xx

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    1. Thanks Leanne, you are doing well over there and I hope you continue to do so as I wouldn’t wish any of this on anyone! Thanks for the hugs and everything is crossed for Plan B!

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  28. What a cruel way to start the day Deb. A hope of seeing your kids ad grand kids denied by this crummy pandemic. Your thinking out loud about not being allowed to be angry because so many others have it much worse – is valid.

    But I fear,you are right to a degree. If, while being disappointed that my son and DIL can’t make our regular Sunday dinner because of a suspected covid exposure and slight cough, I learn that the neighbor up the street is losing her spouse to covid and is not even allowed to visit or hold his hand, well, I’m rightly torn. My situation is much better than so many others.

    Perhaps I can forget some of my ills by somehow helping that poor woman out. It won’t bring my family to me but helping someone out does feel real good.

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  29. I have been thinking about you, Deb, and my Australian friends every day. Sending you infinite hugs. Sad and disappointed does not really explain the weariness and multitude of many emotions. I appreciate you sharing since it has been more quiet than usual from you. You have become my friend, and I know first hand how you are a cup half full, optimistic type of woman. Yet pragmatic and the reality of it all.

    There is no such thing as “less significant” “less legitimate”. These are your feelings despite gratitude. ‘I get it’ There is always a Plan B and a Plan C….One day at a time. Love and Hugs to you and loved ones xx

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  30. Oh this hurts my grandma heart. 😢 We are really in this for the long haul. My only consolation is that we haven’t lost any family members or close friends in the pandemic. I’m praying with you that your tests come back negative…if not I’m sure your one vaccine provides some protection. We’re seeing a surge in the variant in our area, too. Some parts of the U.S. are being hit hard. So we’re hunkering down again. Hoping things are better at Christmas! Maybe we’ll have a booster by then.

    We’re expert body surfers, Deb, going with the waves and not fighting them! (Or plan B as you say!)

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    1. Thanks Carol, I just needed to write it out of my head so I’m sorry to upset anyone with my sadness, I did try to balance it out a bit! I love that analogy, we are expert body surfers going with the waves, thanks for the smiles.

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        1. So true Carol. I’m still waiting to hear! My husband’s came back negative yesterday but I’m not sure where my results are. No news is good news as my mum says!

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