When have you lost the feeling of joy?
And I don’t mean in the Marie Kondo way!
I crossed something off my Retirement To-Do list recently, not because I’d completed it, as you might expect, but because I’d lost interest in it. I’d lost my drive, my passion, my joy for it. Where did it go and is this cause for concern?
What does ‘finding your mojo’ mean?
Find your mojoSource Urban Dictionary
to be able to find something you like doing, and to do it with passion, zeal, energy and enthusiasm
I do most things with enthusiasm and feel as if I’m reasonably energetic, so I’m not overly worried, but like most people, there are times when the battery runs low.
How do you know if you’ve lost it?
Lately I’ve been worried that I’m not firing on all cylinders, that I’ve lost a bit of my spark.
An example of things I think to myself:
- I could take further courses to improve some of my skills – like photography or writing
- I could push myself to do more
- I could join the gym to do proper workouts
- I could train to run properly
but I’m quite happy doing things my way, and more importantly, in my own time. Should I be pushing myself to do more or be more?
Am I just over thinking all of this?????
When I was working full time, I was very busy with my family as well as a variety of volunteer positions and fun/not so fun commitments. Things like bookclub, movie club, Rotary, Rail Trail committee, Discussion group, some gym classes, blogging – just to name a few.
Now that I’m no longer working I still do all these same things but the time available for them is more evenly spread, as in not all crammed into the hours outside of a working day. I still enjoy these activities but some have lost their ‘thrill’ if I’m honest. Should I move on?
For instance I was encouraged and expected by some to carry on to a BIGGER leadership role in one of my volunteering committees, but after a while I just didn’t seem to have the same drive. I’m still involved and work hard in a voluntary capacity, but I don’t have the desire to go any further than what I’m doing now. And that’s OK.
In fact I’ve found myself pulling back in some areas, as I feel I need a break. I feel sad, as do others, about this lack of spark, but I think I recognise it for what it is.
I saw this on Leanne’s Cresting the Hill Facebook page and thought it suited my current thinking perfectly.
A Mediocre Life?
My worry is – am I settling for a mediocre life instead of a grand life? Should I be doing more, thinking more, doing more, improving more…
MediocreSource Urban Dictionary
Not good, not bad, but a negative term nonetheless. Often used to describe something that is average, but was expected to be much better.
If I’m happy with my lifestyle shouldn’t that count for something?
Don’t worry, I think I’ve answered my own questions!!!
Does this look like the face of someone who is having issues with their mojo? The thing is you can’t always tell by looking at someone what they’re going through or thinking – you can’t judge a book by its cover 🙂
Six helpful tips
In reading lots of articles on this subject over the past few weeks, I’ve found I agreed with these six points the most.
- Find a way to have fun or a good belly laugh – what gets you laughing?
- Do something physical – fresh air and exercise are known to help improve your mood.
- Have a break from social media – it can be very draining.
- Take note of who you’re mixing with, are they bringing you down in some way?
- Don’t isolate yourself. Get out there and mix with others, even though it can be hard to do.
- Talk to others or write your thoughts down – even if it’s on your blog, it can help just to get your thoughts out there.
What to do next?
My blogging buddy Sue wrote a post recently about Motivation, and she had asked some friends for their tips for when they feel they need a boost. It was interesting to read from others how they cope when they seem to have lost their motivation. Taking a break and walking away for a while before going back to it, was my observation.
But if you ever get worried that it’s not just a passing mood or a phase, then talk to someone or check in with a friend if you think they’re struggling a bit. I like this graphic from R U OK?
It’s OK too, to spend time reflecting and ‘being‘ rather than ‘doing‘ all the time. We all seem to go through ups and downs. I was told recently I needed to have some belief in myself and maybe that’s a good place for me to start. (Hence my graphic of the pelican reflecting).
We all see things from different perspectives, and listening to ourselves is an important part of taking care of ourselves.
One minute I’m content and the next I’m all over the place. I’m starting to think this is a part of early retirement or even just getting older, questioning our purpose, moving through the various stages, finding the balance that suits us and trying not to overthink things. I’ve taken ages to actually write this post so I’m glad to finally put it to bed now. I hope it makes some sort of sense to you 🙂
What are your thoughts? Have you had similar thoughts and if so how have you coped? It’s always good to read some of my favourite midlife bloggers, just to see that I’m not alone in some of these thoughts.
By the way I’m fine and feel better for finally having written this post. I hope it’s been of some use to others too.
The thing I crossed off my retirement list? I thought I wanted to become a Marriage Celebrant once I’d retired, but on thinking and doing more research I decided I didn’t want that after all – it was a lot of effort, money and time to put into something I wasn’t passionate about anymore.
Funnily enough my blogging hasn’t been an issue in all this!
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