What has being a mother got to do with the weather?
As it was Mother’s Day here yesterday, there were lots of messages, gifts, flowers, visits, cards and thoughts floating around the atmosphere.
Mothers were held up as being almost saintlike and kind words were attributed to mothers everywhere.
Whether they were true or not.
My sister wrote an interesting post about being a mother after reading a story about the way society, and social media in particular, have portrayed motherhood as something else entirely.
The article can be found here: Motherhood Project aims to capture authentic take on being a new mum
As my sister comments: When did we stop normalising the unpretty aspects of parenting? Does any mother of young children imagine, when she sees images of others’ lives, that they don’t have unpretty moments as well? That their two-year old doesn’t have temper tantrums that can last for hours? That their toddler, being introduced to a new food, doesn’t spit it out or wipe it over every surface they can find? That their three year old hasn’t ever picked up a crayon and drawn all over the walls with it?
I’ve also read a few other posts highlighting the ‘imperfections’ of mothers and I can certainly relate to them! I have not, and never will be, a perfect anything, let alone a perfect parent. I tried my best, but I know that sometimes my best wasn’t good enough, and hey, that’s life! We’re still standing 🙂
My mother is a good mother but, like me, she’s not perfect, neither are my sister or my daughters. But as long as we have our children’s best interests at heart, most of the time, we should be able to forgive ourselves and move on. Sadly some of us can’t do that. Is it a case of the world expecting perfection or the pressure we put on ourselves I wonder?
My three daughters are now mothers themselves and I try to provide mothering support from afar, not advice as such, usually just a listening ear. I don’t live that close to any of them but with social media, we are in contact most days.
I try to keep my worries to myself. I know things but I understand they must move through this ‘weathering’ in their own way, like I did and the millions of mothers before us have done.
This Facebook post from the Australian Breastfeeding Association resonated with me yesterday and got me thinking about writing this post. In my early days as a mother I relied on Nursing Mothers for help and support and went on to become a volunteer Breastfeeding Counsellor. I also supported my daughters to make contact with them when they needed extra support, and I joined them up as members when they first became mothers – whether they had planned to breastfeed or not.
What did I know?
My introduction to mothering was quite fittingly, through my (younger) sister, apart from my own mother of course, but it wasn’t until I had my first daughter at age 22, that I realised the ultimate life changing moment that it was. And yes, as I went on to have my next two daughters, it became a case of ‘weathering the storm’. My children weren’t called ‘search and destroy’ for nothing!
Weather the storm = come through a time of great difficulty without too much damageSource
Mothering is like the weather
Mothering is very much like the weather – sometimes it’s a balmy spring day, then suddenly a storm rolls through and it’s all drama, then there are the boring grey days but sometimes we get that cloudless blue sky sort of weather when it all just comes together. And then there are the rainbow days, when something beautiful comes out of the darkness.
I don’t have any answers about how to weather things in life but I just continue to muddle my way through and try to make the best of things. Writing helps too.
I’m continually grateful for the opportunities to learn from my mistakes, my imperfections and my challenging thoughts – some days are better than others.
I do know that I value the expertise and honesty of mothers and I appreciate being able to spend time with my mother and my daughters.
Here are a few photos of mum and I enjoying a High Tea in Tumbarumba on Mother’s Day. I know, compared to others around the world, that we are lucky to be able to be together and celebrate at all.
Thinking of all those who can’t be with their mothers for whatever reason. Also I am aware of those who have lost their mothers and in particular my thoughts go to my husband and his sister who lost their mum, my MIL, last December, so this is the first Mother’s Day without her – and there are many around the world in similar situations. It’s another storm to weather.
Sunday Stills and Life this week
Weather is the prompt for Terri’s #sundaystills this week and I’ve certainly taken it in a different direction than what was probably intended!
I look forward to seeing the posts from others linking up to Terri’s Sunday Stills, featuring weather in all sorts of ways. I’ve also joined in with Denyse for her #lifethisweek prompt of knowing, I think ‘weather’ and ‘knowing’ are a good blend!
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A tragic accident at age 17, resulting in a Bravery Award from the Queen, didn’t deter Debbie from travelling the world. A young retiree, after being made redundant from her 22 year career managing education programs in a men’s correctional centre, she now loves reading, blogging, riding her ebike and a good cup of tea! Also known as Granny Debs to her 4 grandchildren.
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