Life at 28 years of age…mother & daughter compare notes


Sarah at 28

Sarah at 28

I was lucky to have Sarah, my 28 year old daughter, visit for the weekend and while she was here I read a story in the paper titled ‘Like mother, like daughter? Three women compare their life with that of their mum at the same age’.

I decided to do a similar story with Sarah and I will do one with each of my other 2 daughters when I next see them.

Sarah & I talked about the many differences in our lives at this age.  The main one being that at 28 I was the mother of 3 daughters under 5 years of age, having just given birth to Eliza our final child that year.  Grant & I had been married for nearly 9 years and were buying our own little house in Newcastle.  Sarah on the other hand is enjoying life with her partner, Ben, with neither a wedding nor a baby in sight.  In her words, she is as free as a bird.

I hadn’t gone to university after finishing high school and wouldn’t until I turned 40 years of age, whereas Sarah enjoyed a year after high school living & working in Italy before returning home to undertake a university degree in International Studies.  She is planning to return to study in 2014 to do her Masters while working full time as well.

I obviously wasn’t working outside of the home at 28 having 1 daughter, Melanie, start school that year and 2 little ones at home. My social life revolved around playgroup, Nursing Mothers and all things child related.  Sarah has a good job in Canberra with a Federal Government Department.  She has aspirations!

At 28 I had only travelled outside Australia once when I was 17, which turned out to be an ill fated & tragic trip, whereas Sarah has lived in 3 countries – UK, Italy, & Sweden – for over 6 years before returning with Ben,  to live in Australia, just last year. Sarah is much more worldly aware than I was at that age and also has a great social conscience. She believes in things and isn’t afraid to stand up for herself.  I think she is more idealistic than I was at 28 but that probably stems from the fact that I was a young mother and didn’t have much time for anything else.  She is much cleverer than I ever will be and I am glad that she has made use of her brain power in a good way.

I didn’t travel again until I was 31 when we moved the family to England for a year on a Teacher Exchange.  We often say that this was the turning point in our lives, it definitely opened the door to our family becoming addicted to travelling the world with a family motto of ‘To travel is to live’.  So Sarah has us to thank for opening up her world to travel! Moving the family from Newcastle to Tumbarumba was also a big change and one that we are all happy that we made.

Grant & I were on a strict budget as we were buying our first home, we only had one income at the time and life was tough for us.  Sarah & Ben are good managers and also understand the need for tight fiscal control, they are renting a nice unit and Sarah has just bought her first car. They do have a very nice life I am happy to say, but a very different one to my life at 28!

At 28 I still had all my grandparents alive and thankfully so does Sarah. She values her family connections despite her jokes about her sisters and their competitive relationship. They love getting together whenever they can and just being themselves, warts & all. I love having them all together too.

We both agree that some things haven’t changed much and one of them is that women are no further ahead in many ways than they were when I was 28, in terms of in management, political & leadership roles.  This is despite us having out first female Prime Minister within this time.  Just looking at the portrayal of women in TV shows and music makes us both cringe at times.  We both agree that the world has changed with the advent of the internet and mobile phone communications and that TV & music were better way back then.

I feel that I have lived my life on the whole, opposite to what Sarah has done.  I married young (19) and had my children while I was still young.  I have mothered them and then got on with my life in terms of study, work and travel.  I love that there are no hard and fast rules for Sarah’s generation.  They can, and do, have a life and make decisions based on where they are up to and their individual choices.

One thing that hasn’t changed is that I am still a mother and Sarah, my daughter.  But I would like to think that I am now also her friend as well as her mother.  I have enjoyed watching her progress to where she is now and am very proud of what she has done with her life in her 28 years.

Debbie at 28

Me at 28

It is always an interesting exercise to compare lives and especially when it is with one of your own children. I wouldn’t change a thing about myself at 28 and I am very happy with how Sarah has turned out at the same age.  She is beautiful, confident, clever, caring and I couldn’t ask for anything more.

Like mother, like daughter? – I don’t think so!

  One thought on “Life at 28 years of age…mother & daughter compare notes

  1. October 27, 2013 at 6:12 pm

    That’s a great post Deb. Two very different women. It’ll be interesting to do the comparison when Sarah is the age you are now!

    Like

  2. October 27, 2013 at 6:13 pm

    I also have to say (sorry Sarah) that Deb, you look younger at 28 than Sarah does!

    Like

    • October 27, 2013 at 6:20 pm

      Thanks Sharon, glad you liked it. We are very different aren’t we?? Not sure about looking younger though, I think I was very brave to put up such an old photo of myself. 😉

      Like

  3. Ros D
    October 27, 2013 at 8:40 pm

    Great post, Deb. I love that you have taken the time to not only have the discussion with Melanie but to also share your thoughts! Even though we haven’t seen each other for many years, it’s obvious you are still the beautiful, caring person I first met and shared baby experiences with. You are an inspiration.

    Like

  4. Ros D
    October 27, 2013 at 8:41 pm

    Oh dear, I did mean Sarah. Sorry!

    Like

    • October 27, 2013 at 10:03 pm

      Thanks Ros! So nice of you to take the time to read my blog entry and make such a lovely comment. I really enjoyed writing this entry and comparing our lives at 28 & obviously it has entertained others as well! Take care.

      Like

  5. September 29, 2016 at 6:52 pm

    Loved reading all your three posts about life at your daughters age. I too have a daughter, and for me also it is quite fascinating to see and compare our lives as she grows. It is wonderful to be a mother, and see our kids transition through the years as they age.
    Deb, I am so hooked to your site, lot of similar interests, lot to learn here and get inspired. I too am particular about fitness, great to see so many posts on running :). Greetings and love to you. ashu

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 29, 2016 at 9:28 pm

      Thanks so much for your interest and comments! I’m thrilled to have you join me. My posts on comparing my life to my daughters are my favourites and my proudest work. Nice to meet you Ashu 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  6. September 30, 2016 at 12:40 am

    Same here Debz, nice to have met you and would keep visiting to read more posts😊.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. March 16, 2017 at 10:12 pm

    Awww…this is lovely….now I feel like I should do one with my mum.. Thanks for sharing..I enjoyed reading

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Anonymous
    March 17, 2017 at 12:23 am

    What a great idea! My daughter is home for a few days and we had a similar conversation. When I was her age now I was married. I couldn’t imagine her married anytime soon. Neither can she. Hahahaha!

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 17, 2017 at 5:02 pm

      Great to hear, hope you enjoyed your conversation with your daughter. It’s always good looking at the differences in our lives isn’t it? Thanks for commenting.

      Like

  9. September 22, 2017 at 3:56 am

    I am also currently 28 years of age. I got married last year at the age of 27 and I am currently saving desperately with my husband to try and buy a house of our own. We have not yet started a family. I am doing pretty well in my career.
    So in short, I am 28 married for 1 year but with no children.
    When I mother was 28 she had been married 9 years and had 2 children, a 7 year old and a 4 year old.
    I do currently live a higher standard of living than my mother was at the age of 28. I’ve been on many abroad holidays, I went to university, I have a new(ish) car etc. Whereas my mum at 28 had only ever had 1 abroad holiday, owned a banger of a car and had stopped her education at A Levels (at 18 years of age) and would have been working part time in a pub or something similar.

    It’s amazing how different my mum and I’s lived have been from the age of 18 to 28. How different a generation can be from one another in regards to what one does at what ages.

    It seems the difference between you and your daughter are similar to my mum and I.

    Like

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