That time when the bride wore white and so did the groom!


Weathering life

As the Mathematician and I celebrate our 38th wedding anniversary, I thought back to how we’ve weathered life along the way.

We both started out in our brilliant white outfits and haven’t looked back.

I had been considering writing a post to offer advice to newly marrieds, my daughter among them, but I decided I don’t have any real advice to give except maybe:

  • to be patient
  • to accept each other
  • to have fun together
  • weather the storms together
  • to be realistic and honest
  • to be there for each other through the good and bad times

I was only 19 and one month old (to the day) when we married, which means I’ve now been married for twice as long as I was single – a scary thought!  We’d known each other for a few years before getting married too, so it’s safe to say we’ve been together for well over 40 years all together.  I think we’ve done well 🙂  I know 19 is young to commit to someone but it’s worked for us and the Mathematician was a few yeas older than I was at the time.

Here we are on our wedding day – I always love the sky behind me being dark and stormy while behind my husband it’s clear! Is the weather trying to tell me something?

I have written an anniversary post regularly over the past few years:

In 2014 it was You are the Flip to my Flop, in 2015 it was a simple post called Celebrating, in 2017 I made it a Throwback Thursday post – and the one thing that stands out clearly from these posts, is that marriage is a continual work in progress.

It’s not always fun, or easy or romantic – it’s often just the opposite, but it’s something we both work hard towards maintaining because that’s what love is all about. Don’t get me wrong, we have fun and adventures together but I’m not going to whitewash it to be something perfect and wonderful all the time.  We’ve gone through a lot together and have our families and our parents to thank for their support and for being great role models.  You just never know what the future holds when you marry so making the journey together and being there for each other is vitally important.

Our daughters say that we are living the dream at the moment – we’re both retired, young, fit, healthy, happy and adventurous and (luckily) financially sound enough to enjoy our lifestyle.  It’s the life choices we’ve made, decisions we’ve made together and ultimately ‘love’ that has enabled this to be ‘our’ time.

Trees weathering life

These trees in the Finders Ranges of South Australia on the other hand have weathered hundreds of years, seeing all that’s happened around them, providing life, shelter, shade and they have been an integral part of this special environment.

I love their gnarly root system, their entwined branches, their steadfast trunks, their ability to cope through good and bad times, their continual growth – I believe these same attributes can be applied to a marriage!

These trees are still standing and so are we!!

Thanks to the Daily Post for this week’s photo challenge prompt of Weathered which allowed me to indulge myself with a post combining two loves of my life – my husband and trees 🙂

Are you game enough to offer any words of advice on the subject of marriage and how to make it a long and happy relationship?  If so, I’d love to hear your thoughts and so would everyone else I’m sure  🙂

Deb xx

You can also find Deb’s World here – let’s stay in touch!

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  One thought on “That time when the bride wore white and so did the groom!

  1. January 13, 2018 at 1:58 pm

    I love looking at old photos. Long lasting marriages are getting pretty rare. You probably have a lot more advice to give, but that is a good start!

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 13, 2018 at 2:02 pm

      Hi, I agree we seem too be in the minority these days! I really don’t know what advice to give but figured these were the basics. I’m not one to dish out advice generally but made an exception here 😊 thanks for the visit and taking the time to leave me a comment, it’s much appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. www.retirementreflections.com
    January 13, 2018 at 5:18 pm

    Hi, Debbie – This post is another great example of why I follow your blog. It’s the mixture of your positive nature and your straight-up honesty. Great photos too! Congratulations on your long and successful marriage.

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 13, 2018 at 5:30 pm

      Thanks so much Donna, I do like to tell it as it is, so I’m glad you appreciate that! about my blog! I really wanted to portray the feeling of weathering and being in it for the long haul, so I hope that came across OK. I really love hearing from you. If you have any advice to leave feel free to share your wisdom:)

      Like

  3. January 13, 2018 at 5:26 pm

    Hi Debbie I love trees too and you have some amazing photos 🙂 A unique post combining your two loves!

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 13, 2018 at 5:31 pm

      Thanks very much for your thoughtful comment Dahlia. I really wanted to mix the two together and hopefully it worked out OK 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • January 13, 2018 at 5:31 pm

        Yes! It came out very well 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • January 13, 2018 at 5:33 pm

          I’m so pleased to hear that, I often worry I’m being too obtuse or too personal or something ……

          Liked by 1 person

          • January 13, 2018 at 5:40 pm

            Not at all. I loved your other post too but was too shy to write much. 😀 Maybe next time! Wish you both many more years of togetherness, happiness and health. We survived 30 yrs of being married – fingers crossed for the coming years 😉

            Liked by 1 person

            • January 13, 2018 at 5:41 pm

              Thanks very much! All the best to you too, it’s certainly a long haul and we’re in the minority at times 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

            • January 13, 2018 at 5:43 pm

              Not in my part of the world – India. But yes times are changing here as well 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

  4. January 13, 2018 at 5:45 pm

    Congratulations on your anniversary. Hubster and I have weathered 13 years of married life. You’re so right. Most often it is sheer doggedness to the commitment we made. Sometimes actually can’t stand him 😎. But we love each other and we make a great team. Thanks for another fab post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 13, 2018 at 5:47 pm

      Thank you for reading and commenting!! I love hearing everyone’s stories and it is sheer determination that get us through at times. Team work is essential and of course, love helps 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. January 13, 2018 at 5:50 pm

    Congratulations on your anniversary. Really enjoyed the post and the photos. So nice that you have managed to stay together for so long.

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 13, 2018 at 6:02 pm

      Many thanks for your thoughts! It’s been a great time together and I enjoyed reflecting on things in this post 🙂

      Like

  6. January 13, 2018 at 6:47 pm

    As someone who has experienced two marriages – both of which have been very different – I have some advice for the newly married.
    1. If you didn’t marry someone you like, get out now.
    2. Be confident in yourself as your own person. Yes, you’re part of a couple, but you’re also a person in your own right.
    3. Think about what you bring to the marriage – what are you doing to sustain and nurture it?
    4. Be kind. Always.
    5. Don’t take advice from others. You aren’t like them – and if you are, refer to #4.

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 13, 2018 at 6:49 pm

      Oh, and congratulations Deb!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • January 13, 2018 at 6:55 pm

        Thanks for that!! Love your advice too, all very pertinent suggestions. Great to have your thoughts 🙂

        Like

  7. January 13, 2018 at 9:24 pm

    🙂 Congratulations on your 38th wedding anniversary and to having weathered it all together!
    All the best to you and yours!
    Have a very HAPPY weekend! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. January 13, 2018 at 11:35 pm

    Happy Anniversary! Hubby and I married when I was 19 and he was 23 – unheard of anymore. I agree with so much of your post. Ups and downs, ins and outs, goods and bads, but I wouldn’t do it any differently.

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 15, 2018 at 1:51 pm

      That’s the same age as us, (I think we’ve discussed this before???) and it is unheard of these days as you say Jodi. I’m glad my post resonates with you, it’s been interesting over the years and I wouldn’t do it any differently either 🙂 Take care and it’s always lovely to hear from you x

      Liked by 1 person

  9. January 14, 2018 at 12:05 am

    First of all, Happy Anniversary! Relationships do take work and there needs to be a willingness on both sides to do the work. So glad you found a partner willing to dig deep. Love the pictures of the trees. I love taking pictures of trees, especially when the Ent’s personality shines through.

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 15, 2018 at 1:49 pm

      Thanks so much for your message Jennifer. We both dig deep at times 🙂 I love these old trees from our time in the Flinders Ranges and they have so much personality, I’m glad you can see it too.

      Like

  10. January 14, 2018 at 1:49 am

    Congratulations on your 38th (!!!) anniversary. That is an achievement to be proud of. And clearly you and your husband, like those beautiful, gnarly trees, have weathered a lot over the years and made it out with flying colours. Happy Anniversary weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 15, 2018 at 1:46 pm

      Thanks Marian, we are very proud of ourselves and that we continue to enjoy each other’s company now that we are both retired. I’m also glad you saw my connection with the trees in my post 🙂 Lovely to have you drop by.

      Like

  11. January 14, 2018 at 7:31 am

    What a beautiful post!!!! I love it! I also love those trees! (I am a rather unusual tree hugger). Anyway, my first marriage didn’t work out–but my ex-hubs and I remain friends. He and his girlfriend joined us for Christmas dinner and gave my husband and I a belated wedding gift. We both figure–we had three children together so how could we be enemies? Luckily, my husband has no problems with this and we all get along!!! Thank you for a lovely read!

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 15, 2018 at 1:44 pm

      That’s so good to hear you have both come to this arrangement as many others in your situation have a hard time. I’m so happy to hear you enjoyed my post too 🙂

      Like

  12. January 14, 2018 at 7:32 am

    Congrats on your 38th anniversary and blessings to you and your family. Many lessons that can be learned from you and your husband. Great post.

    Like

  13. January 14, 2018 at 7:32 am

    Congrats on your 38th anniversary and blessings to you and your family. Many lessons that can be learned from you and your husband. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. January 14, 2018 at 11:50 am

    Congratulations on your long and successful marriage, Deb! Great tree photos against the clear blue sky. Happy anniversary weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 15, 2018 at 1:39 pm

      Thanks very much Natalie, I loved these trees on our trip to the Flinders Ranges.

      Like

  15. January 15, 2018 at 10:10 am

    Congratulations Deb. My God you were young when you married. All things considered marriage is a bit of a lottery in my books. And either way you have to work at it. We had our 30th last year. Part of our celebration in Italy with our daughters. Louise

    Liked by 1 person

    • January 15, 2018 at 1:37 pm

      Yes I was very young, and I’m still young now! yes it’s a bit of a lottery at times and I must say I got lucky 🙂 Congrats on your 30 years, I remember you saying so while you were on your trip 🙂 Lovely to hear from you!

      Liked by 1 person

      • January 15, 2018 at 1:48 pm

        Yes Deb I’m out here still. Having a massive January clean out. trying to simplify life and get sorted before a crazy term one at work. Still debating with myself about that second blog. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • January 16, 2018 at 8:15 am

          Good for you! I’m trying to declutter too but I’m also a great procrastinator 😊 At least I’m not trying to get ready for a return to work! All the best!

          Liked by 1 person

  16. January 17, 2018 at 7:54 am

    A belated congratulations to you Deb on 38 years of marriage. That’s quite an achievement. It was 25 years for us last December. I loved reading this post and you combined your loves perfectly. All the best to you for another 38 years. Enjoy ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  17. January 21, 2018 at 2:20 pm

    Warmest congratulations Debbie 🙂 Good advice. The one that I offer is remember we have two ears and one mouth; speak half and listen double.

    Liked by 1 person

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